Setting a date

[glittergore]

I know that many of us here spend much time contemplating whether or not to CTB. We weigh the pros and cons, try to calculate the probability of improvement, determine what is just too much to live with. I'm at the point where I think that my suicide is not an if but a when, however I'm haunted by the possibility that things may improve for me and I might find life to be something worthwhile. Of course, dead me wouldn't care if one day things would've improved, but I do want the best for myself, so I stick around. It's a hellish limbo of trying to improve but not knowing if it's actually possible. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep doing this.

With that in mind, I've decided to set a date; one that is far enough to give me a reasonable amount of time to change and grow if I can, but close enough to not make myself suffer needlessly and seemingly endlessly. If I still want to CTB then, I will. I can be content that I gave it a shot and that life isn't for me.

I was wondering if anyone else set a more distant date for the same reason. It would also be interesting to hear from those of you that set a date but decided to postpone it.

 

[Red]

I've set a date but think I'll postpone when it comes - I've a hotel room booked for the end of July. Having it gives me strength as I feel I have a way out, also having all the trappings for my method prepared in my death box lol
But I know I need to live a bit longer because I need to see that my child reaches adulthood ok. In that time, I've got to ride the ups and downs of possibly finding a medical lead to follow, doing the tests, ultimately having the doctor state that they can't help...
So I'll probably postpone the room, give it another month or two at a time, until it feels right to go.
I have to have given it my best shot.

 

[NomadicWolf382]

Currently thinking October 31st, 2020 around sunset. The original date was planned sometime in the middle of August, But I made a promise that I intend to keep during the original set time frame.

 

[happy?1270]

Can relate.
I'm setting my date for mid November. I'm waiting till swim season starts so I can have some time to be around my friends

 

[TheYounger]

I've also kinda set a date. Which I think will be in December. Maybe Dec 31st of this year. Why I chose this date? I don't know. I just know that I wish to CTB before the age of 30. Currently 28. Planning to CTB via SA.