anonbpdgirl
Student
- Aug 31, 2019
- 111
I honestly believe that losing weight would make my mental health a bit better. It wouldn't solve anything, of course, but being able to go out and wear the clothes I want without the urge to cry or self-harm every time I glance into a mirror... that would be amazing for me.
So, what do I decide to do? Lose some weight. The gyms have been closed, and living in a studio it's very hard to do in-home excerise, but I've been out and walking everyday. I've been home-cooking and healthily eating. I checked the scales when it had been a month, and SUCCESS! Five pounds lost. It felt amazing. It felt like I was finally getting a handle on my emotional eating, and perhaps I was turning a new leaf when it came to the relationship I hold with my body.
Excited, I checked my weight again the next day. It was back up by four pounds.
You can imagine how upset, and confused, I was.
I honestly don't know what it is. Water retention... different clothes... different time... These all seem like excuses. Perhaps those things can account for a pound or two, but FOUR? No.
So... I'm wondering if a) anyone knows what's going on; and b) if my medication (I take 50mg of seroquel/quiteipiane at night for BPD) has anything to do with it. I know it can make you GAIN weight, which theoretically makes it seem harder to lose weight, but I'm in at least a 500 calorie deficit everyday. So I'm just really confused and upset.
Any help or words of comfort are appreciated.
anonbpdgirl
x
So, what do I decide to do? Lose some weight. The gyms have been closed, and living in a studio it's very hard to do in-home excerise, but I've been out and walking everyday. I've been home-cooking and healthily eating. I checked the scales when it had been a month, and SUCCESS! Five pounds lost. It felt amazing. It felt like I was finally getting a handle on my emotional eating, and perhaps I was turning a new leaf when it came to the relationship I hold with my body.
Excited, I checked my weight again the next day. It was back up by four pounds.
You can imagine how upset, and confused, I was.
I honestly don't know what it is. Water retention... different clothes... different time... These all seem like excuses. Perhaps those things can account for a pound or two, but FOUR? No.
So... I'm wondering if a) anyone knows what's going on; and b) if my medication (I take 50mg of seroquel/quiteipiane at night for BPD) has anything to do with it. I know it can make you GAIN weight, which theoretically makes it seem harder to lose weight, but I'm in at least a 500 calorie deficit everyday. So I'm just really confused and upset.
Any help or words of comfort are appreciated.
anonbpdgirl
x