Serious about doing it from Morocco.

[darkerthanblack]

Hello everyone.

I'm a software engineer from morocco (28years old) I long for a romantic relationship but despite my efforts I couldn't find any partners, my life is the definition of hell, I can't get out of my head, I'm unemployed and surronded with people who don't even have an education, I'm always alone by myself, you can call me a weirdo, I went abroad but failed to stay there. Now I'm just existing and suffering, and my family don't understand my pain, I feel like if I keep going like this I will end up homeless on the streets which I can't do, I bought the rope but I'm too much of a coward to actually DO IT, I feel like one day I will do it, it's inevitable for me, I didn't understand this world, I didn't understand this life, I did my best and failed miserably, I can't live this mundane life, always following money, and problems getting bigger and bigger, I can't handle this, plus I smoke excessively which makes my health go down the toilet, I spend the whole day at home crying and watching porn like a little girl. I had an amazing future, I could've worked the best jobs, but my mind is telling me to stop, my body is tired too. What should I do now, should I just do it and end it all, it seems to me like it's the best solution, I have searched methods of suicide on the internet and found that hanging is the best solution for me, since I can't get a gun here, I've thought about poisonning but I know it wouldn't work because my body will reject the poison, I don't want to have a failed attempt, I want to do it once and for all.

Thanks.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

...I spend the whole day at home crying and watching porn like a little girl....

Thanks.

I don't know too many little girls that like watching porn but I digress.


On a serious note, do you have access to counseling? Its harder to date as a man when you are depressed. Women pick up on confidence or lack thereof. Have you tried any therapy? Is therapy frowned upon in your culture?

Noone is going to tell you end it all. That's a personal decision. But if you decide to do so you can look at the resources thread.

Welcome...

 

[Neverod]

Everyone on here could give you some advice, but you are the only one who can really choose what to do.
There's nothing in this world that can make you happy and/or give you the will to live again?
If you wish, you can try counseling, it works for some people, maybe that will help you, or not...

As stated above, if you decide to do it, go to the resources thread and check some methods, you'll find something useful in there for you.
Good luck.

 

[Identity]

Hey man, I understand it must be terrifying to not know if you're gonna end up homeless or not— not being sure whether you'll have enough money anymore soon to sustain yourself.

The decision on ending your life or keep on going is yours and yours only.

If you do decide to go, then it is indeed best to make sure you do it right and not end up a vegetable. The internet should be your best bet at learning how to achieve that.

Wish you good luck man

 

[darkerthanblack]

Thanks for your reply @LMFAO FOCKERS

I suffer from extreme anxiety since I was a kid, I need everything to be perfect, my confidence is gone out of the window.

I'm so anxious that I'm literally eating myself, I just keep biting my nails, it's hell inside of my mind. I actually don't ever leave the house. I feel like everything I do explodes in front of me I don't know how to describe it to you haha. I still want to live for my parents. But the pain is just unbearable. I actually live in Morocco and here suicide rates are low compared to the west. And because of religion they don't understand suicide and mental illness and they just call you insane.

Anyways I was just looking for a way to end it all and for good because I'm really really tired of myself, I keep pushing and pushing but no luck. I just don't know what to do anymore. Suicide sounds like a logical solution to me.

Anyways thanks for your reply
Thank you guys so much for your replies.
I don't know but I feel at home here. People who truly understand.
Thanks
Thank you guys so much for your replies.
I feel at home here, people don't judge and truly understand how I really feel.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

Thanks for your reply @LMFAO FOCKERS

I suffer from extreme anxiety since I was a kid, I need everything to be perfect, my confidence is gone out of the window.

I'm so anxious that I'm literally eating myself, I just keep biting my nails, it's hell inside of my mind. I actually don't ever leave the house. I feel like everything I do explodes in front of me I don't know how to describe it to you haha. I still want to live for my parents. But the pain is just unbearable. I actually live in Morocco and here suicide rates are low compared to the west. And because of religion they don't understand suicide and mental illness and they just call you insane.

Anyways I was just looking for a way to end it all and for good because I'm really really tired of myself, I keep pushing and pushing but no luck. I just don't know what to do anymore. Suicide sounds like a logical solution to me.

Anyways thanks for your reply

I get it. The cultural hurdle is a tough one to overcome. You also dont have access to funds. That sucks. My only suggestion would be to try watching some Youtube videos on anxiety and depression.

However if you do get access to money and you want some help look for online counselors. They might be helpful and your family wouldnt have to know.