Venting sensitivity and loneliness

[jellie]

next week is finals week for me. my grades have been slipping since midterms but I am too tired to deal with it. as I am writing this, I am putting of an essay which is probably more worth my time than venting.

I feel like I cant be happy when I am not with my situationship and it feels so pathetic. I feel like I am constantly messing things up. I annoy him by asking him too many questions and trying to make conversation. my jokes come off as harsh and I fear that I hurt his feelings on accident. I think he sees me as being too clingy. I hate the feeling of relying so heavily on someone, but I have no other friends on campus and I am 1000s of miles away from my best friends. I am not going home for the holidays so I will not be able to see my friends. I miss them so so so much and I feel so lonely here but there is nothing I can do about it.

I want things to get better but it feels so impossible and so naive to think that they will.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much. School is hard enough as it is without having to struggle with your mental health and isolation. I know it is hard but I still want you to urge you to finish strong and try your hardest to pass this semester. Then you can reevaluate what to do.

As for your situationship, sometimes what we perceive isn't necessarily true. I recommend you have a direct conversation with him because then you'll get real clarity.