Eyler
Cingulomania spark
- Aug 11, 2023
- 40
Sense is something I can be hopeful to still be intact with as the days go by. Maybe I've gone insane, maybe I have already loss the sense of everything because I can't be me. I can't think. I can't do anything without thoughts of harming either myself or someone. Its killing me, its burning me so bad.
My head hurts from everything and nothing at once, sometimes I don't even know who I am, just another identity to pass as. I'm so energetic yet to exhausted both mentally physically I can't tell what my body wants.
My body is weird, its indecisive. One thing it can be overly expressive and dramatic to another being barely to comprehend if its just a statue in the first place.
I.. don't know whats wrong anymore. I don't know what I'm being hopeful about. I don't know why I lie to myself, don't know why I indulge in the media and reality as both are cutting me one by one.
I think I lost it or at least I realized that I was someone who had already screws off in this head of mine.
Being really mentally ill sucks because I'm both aware and I'm not. Doctors call me complicated. Its not my fault in the first place I just turned like this.
Suddenly they say I have MDD, next they think I could have bpd, next thing I know they think I can have both autism, adhd and aspd? Holy christ someone just say what is wrong with me already. What do I have??? What is wrong with me???? Can you just finally agree on one thing?
or what am I really just done for if Its really true all of that???????
I'm seriously going insane because I can't even talk normally or say the truth without me spitting nonsense all the sudden when in front of the doctors and now I just sound stupid.
My head hurts from everything and nothing at once, sometimes I don't even know who I am, just another identity to pass as. I'm so energetic yet to exhausted both mentally physically I can't tell what my body wants.
My body is weird, its indecisive. One thing it can be overly expressive and dramatic to another being barely to comprehend if its just a statue in the first place.
I.. don't know whats wrong anymore. I don't know what I'm being hopeful about. I don't know why I lie to myself, don't know why I indulge in the media and reality as both are cutting me one by one.
I think I lost it or at least I realized that I was someone who had already screws off in this head of mine.
Being really mentally ill sucks because I'm both aware and I'm not. Doctors call me complicated. Its not my fault in the first place I just turned like this.
Suddenly they say I have MDD, next they think I could have bpd, next thing I know they think I can have both autism, adhd and aspd? Holy christ someone just say what is wrong with me already. What do I have??? What is wrong with me???? Can you just finally agree on one thing?
or what am I really just done for if Its really true all of that???????
I'm seriously going insane because I can't even talk normally or say the truth without me spitting nonsense all the sudden when in front of the doctors and now I just sound stupid.