Self talk on remaining alive

[derpyderpins]

A big thing with recovery and therapy and mindfulness and all that stressful stuff is watching your internal script.

I need something good I can say regarding life versus death.

The truth is, I want to be alive right now. But word choice is difficult for those bad days.

"I'm happy I'm alive." Obviously not the right words. Very hard to convince yourself on a bad day. Plus, happiness isn't the correct designation.

"I prefer to be alive." Not right either. Invites moment to moment comparisons.

"I want to live." Closer. That's ultimately what I'm getting at. I want to experience life even if it's difficult and painful. I want to put myself out there and experience things. But self-talk telling me what I want seems dangerous, especially when 20 years of struggling has programmed "I want to die" as an internal reaction when facing difficulty.

"Life is interesting." This is getting closer. Curiosity is a big thing keeping me alive. Even if I see parts of the world as a train wreck ... Can't help but rubber neck a bit. (Or "lookie loo" for our friends up north.)

"I love [my wife]." This is very effective for me. I will live for her. Two issues, 1) it's not fair to her if I can't stand on my own, and 2) my self image has been improving and I'd like that to continue. Tying my value to another undermines that.

I'm going to cut myself off here, but I invite input. What are some effective self-talk phrases to build into your internal script?

@LaVieEnRose @Aergia
@Saturn_

 

[LaVieEnRose]

The truth will set you free. If it is the truth that you want to live, go with that line, risks and all.

Don't make love for your wife your primary mental mantra for motivating yourself to live.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Don't make love for your wife your primary mental mantra for motivating yourself to live.

Well, I shouldn't be so dogmatic about something you say is helping. I would just urge you to frame it less as "I will live so as to not hurt her" and more as "I will live so I can continue to experience things with her." I mean, that is the truth, right? You want to focus on what you want to have versus what you want to avoid.

 

[derpyderpins]

The truth will set you free. If it is the truth that you want to live, go with that line, risks and all.

Don't make love for your wife your primary mental mantra for motivating yourself to live.

Well, I shouldn't be so dogmatic about something you say is helping. I would just urge you to frame it less as "I will live so as to not hurt her" and more as "I will live so I can continue to experience things with her." I mean, that is the truth, right? You want to focus on what you want to have versus what you want to avoid.

I think that's a fair way to look at it. I agree that just putting all the weight on her shoulders is something to avoid, but we are moving through this life together. Finding our own truth.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I think that's a fair way to look at it. I agree that just putting all the weight on her shoulders is something to avoid, but we are moving through this life together. Finding our own truth.

True, I just mean the language you use in your head about your love for her being a motivator should be affirmative rather than negative.

Like consider these example statements:

I believe x doesn't exist. I don't believe x exists.

Like semantically they may amount to broadly the same thing but the difference in construction makes them a bit different.

So if you say "I live to experience stuff with my wife" (affirmative, positive, active), I think that that would be better than making "I live to avoid causing my wife pain" your mantra (negative, passive).

 

[derpyderpins]

True, I just mean the language you use in your head about your love for her being a motivator should be affirmative rather than negative.

Like consider these example statements:

I believe x doesn't exist. I don't believe x exists.

Like semantically they may amount to broadly the same thing but the difference in construction makes them a bit different.

So if you say "I live to experience stuff with my wife" (affirmative, positive, active), I think that that would be better than making "I live to avoid causing my wife pain" your mantra (negative, passive).

One may be more effective, but which one makes me sound the most romantic and dreamy? That's the real question you're not considering.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

One may be more effective, but which one makes me sound the most romantic and dreamy? That's the real question you're not considering.

She married you and your corny line-dropping behind so being dreamy is a moot point.

 

[derpyderpins]

She married you and your corny line-dropping behind so being dreamy is a moot point.

Humor is the way to the heart ;)

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Humor is the way to the heart ;)

I was just ragging on you to keep it going.

 

[Grav]

Good idea on rephrasing. I need to do that as existence is more to be with them than them keep me here. Corniness is the best.