Help Self Medicate too much

[RC90]

Hello everyone I have a big problem, despite the fact that I am on depression and anxiety medication, I'm also self medicating myself a lot. Specially with opioids and ambien, I would say specially ambien is the big problem. The regular dose is 10mg at night. Well last night I took 80mg just to fall asleep, needless to say the next day my head is a mash potato. Its getting out of control and I don't wanna tell my doctor. Otherwise he will take it all from me. I know I should taper. But I love the relaxing feeling I get from taking too much opioids...help me someone.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Do you have the opportunity to smoke weed? I smoke a joint nightly or take softgels/edibles throughout the day. I slept like a baby last night and I never wake up feeling off.

 

[nitroautnz]

Do you have the opportunity to smoke weed? I smoke a joint nightly or take softgels/edibles throughout the day. I slept like a baby last night and I never wake up feeling off.

I should try that actually, its a good idea. Can't wait for legalization .

 

[RC90]

Do you have the opportunity to smoke weed? I smoke a joint nightly or take softgels/edibles throughout the day. I slept like a baby last night and I never wake up feeling off.

Yeah tried that thanks, but never liked it.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I used to use a cbd vape pen and take cbd oil to take the edge of my anxiety so I could sleep. Weed makes me anxious if I smoke too much of it so I stopped and used cbd instead.

 

[RC90]

I used to use a cbd vape pen and take cbd oil to take the edge of my anxiety so I could sleep. Weed makes me anxious if I smoke too much of it so I stopped and used cbd instead.

Thanx max, anything weed related takes me on a bad trip. That's why I'm so hooked on zolpidem.

 

[noaccount]

That sounds really difficult, and like u probably know benzos have to be tapered slowly it's a pain :( Any chance you could get kava-kava or kratom to help you while you taper?

 

[Peter_pan90]

Hi. Im also dependent on opioids. I feel ya Struggle! Those are nasty ones to let go...

Yeah tried that thanks, but never liked it.

once you are an opioid user, no other drug can satisfy you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

anything weed related takes me on a bad trip.

Cbd although weed related shouldn't get you high unless it has thc in. I actually use it for my back pain. Although I totally get this. I have more bad trips then anything when I'm high

 

[RC90]

Cbd although weed related shouldn't get you high unless it has thc in. I actually use it for my back pain. Although I totally get this. I have more bad trips then anything when I'm high

That's the problem I have, I love to feel high....

That sounds really difficult, and like u probably know benzos have to be tapered slowly it's a pain :( Any chance you could get kava-kava or kratom to help you while you taper?

I've heard about kratom from an indonesia guy. But never tried it.

 

[Life_and_Death]

That's the problem I have, I love to feel high....

Lol yeah. I love to not feel. F the bad trips just get me high lol

 

[RC90]

Lol yeah. I love to not feel. F the bad trips just get me high lol

Exactly. I usually take it around 8pm. And then just feel like all problems are gone. But taking 80mg of zolpidem is way too much. Not even gonna mention the opioids as with those I can "play" better with.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Exactly. I usually take it around 8pm. And then just feel like all problems are gone. But taking 80mg of zolpidem is way too much. Not even gonna mention the opioids as with those I can "play" better with.

What about the addiction self help book I mentioned in the recovery section?

 

[RC90]

What about the addiction self help book I mentioned in the recovery section?

I will take a look. Thanks.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I will take a look. Thanks.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/addiction-recovery-but-not-religious.47400/

I figured it would be easier to just show you but I hate linking stuff because it takes forever lol

 

[RC90]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/addiction-recovery-but-not-religious.47400/

As long as it's not religious is good enough for me

 

[Life_and_Death]

As long as it's not religious is good enough for me

I hate religion. Just about every religion seems like a cult and the whole going door to door shoving it in your face thing they do really doesn't help lol. And I love Christians. "believe this!!!!" *throws logic in face* "ok how does this make sense?" *crickets from christians* you want us to believe your BS but you have no idea what your BS is telling you. Ok got it lol

 

[RC90]

So far today, I've pumped myself with Xanax, trying not to take anymore opioid pills than the dose prescribed. I'm not addicted to Xanax FYI. About ambien instead of 80 mg, I'll try to do 40mg. That's still a lot but better taper that way.

 

[Ghost2211]

I can respect not wanting to bring this to a doctor and risking the loss of it completely. If you want to decrease your usage do you have the self control to put a certain amount aside for each day, and not let yourself touch the rest? As stressful as that would be at first it might help you go back to needing less to get results. If you cant manage the craving and want to dial back the addiction you might want to seek other sleep aids. Have you tried melatonin? Everyone around me seems to swear by it.

 

[RC90]

hi Rosey yes I've heard and tried melatonin, but my body is so used to this chemical dose that I'm afraid that won't help me for now. I will def try and take only 4 tonight yestead os 8. Might be a good start?

 

[Ghost2211]

For sure slowly taper down Instead of cold turkey drop to standard dose. Realistic goals makes it emotionally and physically better. Hard to say how melatonin will effect you. It works differently than the meds. What about Benadryl? One or two of those should make you drowsy.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Can you try to self-medicate with something like alcohol or marijuana?
Even this might be a bad suggestion, and I'm sure that other people reading this might agree that my suggestion is bad.

I'm just thinking out loud.

Seems like if you're not careful sooner or later you're usage of opioids is going to come into play with your physician one way or another as tolerance is built.

My late mother became addicted to Demerol injections when I was about 12 years old. I watched her repeatedly getting cut off from Demerol which required her to go from Doctor to doctor to get more. This was difficult to watch her go through withdrawals during periods when she did not have a source for prescription Demerol.

Personally, I don't have much knowledge with usage and addiction of opioids and ambien, so I imagine other members can give you better insight. But I'm just thinking long term what might evolve for you if you're not careful. If you're not careful sooner or later it's going to have to come to your doctors attention. Wouldn't it?

Best wishes.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I would slowly taper down on both ambien and opioids. If you are used to doing x amount every day and suddenly dropping it to much might cause you unpleasant withdrawls. I would drop it slowly. Not sure what mg dose your ambien or opioids are. I take oxycontin have for ohh 10 or 12 years off and on through doc. I have weaned myself off of them and stayed off for 2 weeks and when I started back up am met with a high. I may be a minority here I don't like feeling high I used to take them every day wether I needed or not to avoid feeling high. Since my son died I like feeling high it lessons the pain. Anyway, dont make a drastic reduction it most likely will cause more issues. Slowly reduce them. You do have xanax to fill some void while you are reducing them. It may take 2 months to taper them down but dont do it all of a sudden. If you have been doing 80mg ambien for a while I would taper to 60 for a week than 40 for a week and so on.

 

[RC90]

I would slowly taper down on both ambien and opioids. If you are used to doing x amount every day and suddenly dropping it to much might cause you unpleasant withdrawls. I would drop it slowly. Not sure what mg dose your ambien or opioids are. I take oxycontin have for ohh 10 or 12 years off and on through doc. I have weaned myself off of them and stayed off for 2 weeks and when I started back up am met with a high. I may be a minority here I don't like feeling high I used to take them every day wether I needed or not to avoid feeling high. Since my son died I like feeling high it lessons the pain. Anyway, dont make a drastic reduction it most likely will cause more issues. Slowly reduce them. You do have xanax to fill some void while you are reducing them. It may take 2 months to taper them down but dont do it all of a sudden. If you have been doing 80mg ambien for a while I would taper to 60 for a week than 40 for a week and so on.

Thanks I will do that. Or at least try. And it's messing with my anti depressant treatment.
suboxone should be taking 4mg, been taking 21mg, if the doctors find out I'll be kicked of the program cold turkey.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Thanks I will do that. Or at least try. And it's messing with my anti depressant treatment.
suboxone should be taking 4mg, been taking 21mg, if the doctors find out I'll be kicked of the program cold turkey.

oh damn yes do not mess with your sub. You're going to run out. I know you would like to wean it all down like yesterday- and it's going to be hard to wean down period. Just do it in week long small increments so you dont go through withdraws. My brother is an addict or recovering now. When he ate to much of his oxy he would go into the hospital- to eat theirs haha and get released just prior to new doc visit. If you get low that might be an option.

 

[RC90]

Thanks sinkin.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Thanks sinkin.

your very welcome hun. My pm im box mail whatever it's called here is always open. Just wean slowly! do not go into withdraws

 

[TooConscious]

We can only help ourselves. I've been addicted to alcohol, heroinin the past and am now addicted to benzodiazepines because the horror that is life is too unbearable to face sober... If I didn't use I would curl up in a ball and not know what to do too afraid to kill myself.
I could do sober but would have to focus on how angry I am at why the world is such a sick, cruel, evil place full of selfish me me me idiots and when I let the anger take over it wouldn't take long before I killed people after what they've done to me.

Thanks I will do that. Or at least try. And it's messing with my anti depressant treatment.
suboxone should be taking 4mg, been taking 21mg, if the doctors find out I'll be kicked of the program cold turkey.

How are you getting an extra 17mg daily? Buying illicitly? If so that must be costing you a bomb in the UK 17mg suboxone would cost about £20 a day