That one weird girl

That one weird girl

A sad sad clown.
Jun 2, 2023
39
I can't really explain this evil cycle other than, I eat because I hate myself and I hate myself because I eat. I have no motivation or energy to get better. I've tried. I've had every eating disorder under the sun and yet here I am, obese and feeling sorry for myself. What a joke.

I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and thinks I'm sexy, however I do not understand him cuz while he is a healthy weight, looking like a Greek God, here I am, wallowing in my own self pity, wanting to die and not bettering myself.

I have absolutely no future. And I don't plan on getting one. My math skills is as good as any fucking retards. So is my spelling probably. I'm in a class, surrounded by young people about 6 years younger than me, on their way to find a place in this world, while I'm here, wasting away, throwing away chocolate wrapping one after the other, as if my life depended on it.

I hate that I am a young woman who dosnt get to experience youth. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any physical pain, however I'm as far away from attractive as I can be. I hate that we as people place value to a person based on how attractive they are. Especially women. I want it to end. I want my life to end. I wanna get rest from it all. I wanna just not wake up. Not feel any pain or guilt or harm. I don't want any expectations set on me.

I hate life. I hate men. I hate tits and curves and smooth skin. I hate big eyes and pouty lips. I hate hourglass bodies. I hate small feet and shaved legs. I hate button noses and long hair. I fucking hate it all.

I hope you got a good laugh out of my post cuz that's how I expect you'd handle my vent.
 
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