self harmers ?

[wonderworld]

for the self-harmers out there, what is your 'go to' mines either cutting or not allowing myself certain things like sleep,

(thought I start this thread as I feel so alone in SH as someone in their 20s it feels like no one does it anymore, just a teenage thing)

 

[Brillet]

I'm 21 and I still cut myself. Not as often as I did in the past but still.
I want to slit my wrists and OD on meds.
Edit: oh, that's not what you're asking about.

I cut myself with a razor, binge/purge, starve myself, exercise until I feel like I'm about to faint

 

[Sinai Silence]

21 year old here. Cutting with razors, sometimes heated. When I used to smoke I would burn myself with the roaches. Starve myself a lot too.

 

[EGR92]

27, still self harm by cutting but it doesn't do much for me any more so i don't do it as much

 

[Poptart]

I cut, punch myself, pull my hair, etc. I know it sounds silly, and I probably look silly, but sometimes all I need is a good slap to the face.

Im 23 lol

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

30 here. I cut and punch myself

 

[bpdteacher]

I'm 30, and 'still' self-harm. I don't think the impulses will ever go away. I can go months without doing it them BAM intrusive thoughts! My go-to is now burning. I used to cut but it's a bit obvious. If I burn it's more easily explained as an accident. I also do things like binge eat, restrict, put myself in bad situations, withhold meds etc that are in the 'self-harm but not self-injury' bracket.

I do get very annoyed, being 'older' than your typical harmer at the apparent ignorance of the mental health services about what's a really common issue. And how they always see a hierarchy of the injurious behaviours being 'more serious.'

 

[wonderworld]

when i was a teenager i knew few people who did it ( I was in a child psych ward ) so I didn't feel so alone but now 7 years have past and I feel like I know no one that does it so it's a relief to hear that i'm not the only one.

 

[Rue89]

I'm 24 and I still cut myself; now my thighs instead of my arms, so nobody should ever find out again.

 

[George81]

I'm 38 and and been self harming since 15! I used to cut my arm but now cut my thighs and also hit my arms off wall corners and starve myself. Would prefer to still cut my arm but have to work and wear a uniform with short sleeves so can't hide the scars. Occasionally do cut my wrist though and try and hide it under my watch strap. The urges have gotten stronger since starting on citalopram

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I've cut on and off for a few years. I refrain from doing it because my parents get angry over it and it is hell dealing with that, but when I move out I'll cut myself up like salami

 

[icetea15]

Iam 23 and still cutting since 2015'. Razors, surgical scalpels. Mostly wrists, thights...

 

[Hiraeth]

cutting, bruising, burns, scratching, denying needs, hitting head on things or with hands, pulling out hair and picking at skin.

i just look fucked up at this point lmao
20 & first self harmed at age 10 by using scissors lol

prefer cutting, more control

 

[Soulless Angel]

cutting is my option, I use a blade, but I can never cut deep enough no matter what I do.

and I agree with a poster up there, about being older and it being seen differently by mental health services, Though I had one professional telling me its a *normal* coping mechanism some go too and not to worry if it helps me

 

[Simba]

I think first time ever trying to cut myself was in 2015 in 12th grade ,with a plastic knife ...
Mammy caught me once that year hiding a plastic knife in my hoodies pocket and took it off me saying you stupid girl. She didn't understand at that year at all :(
In 2016 in 13th grade I'd cut myself with a Scooby Doo plastic ruler . I'd cut until i bled. I did it on the same spot on my leg so it wouldn't be really noticeable. Then i stopped. But then I'd pick up at it again when i was in my first year of national service.. found out about the tighs that year.. i was also in a social group for people with ASD etc ,there was this girl and i asked her once if she had a razor (she probably knew what i was up too ) so she got me a dirty razor the next time we met in social group. I'd hide my razor inside my phone.. for months on end I'd cut myself and I'd bleed bad (not bad enough for hospital ) and I'd clean myself up and at times it'd sting. Then one day after my shower.. I'm drying myself and my mammy came in and saw what i did to myself.
I can tell you one thing ,she was not happy at all. She was extremely sad :( Later that day she asked me if i was doing it for attention and so on but eventually she came around to understanding a bit so idk but at times i can't get the thought of the blood flowing down idk why i find it a little strange :( but i rarely do it now ,mammy at that time usetoo say to me how i can't get my privacy back cause they can't trust me not to do anything "stupid" as they put it. I hated the times in the social group how that same girl that gave me a dirty razor and she's one time like telling everyone how that she cut herself cause no one gave her attention ! What rubbish ! And when i ever spoke about my depression and so on i got nothing !!! Just talk with professionals and so on so it really pissed me off. I'm not there anymore anyways. I don't know if all of this will be able to be of some use or help to any of yee. Just my experience.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

It's not just a teenage thing, don't worry.

I guess I do a couple of things. I talk about cutting on here, but I also hit myself. I used to bite and scratch myself when I was younger. I wish I could do more. I hate myself so much. If it counts, I also overeat because I feel like I deserve to feel absolutely disgusting, I overeat on junk because I deserve to feel like shit. I'm a hypocrite because I complain about insomnia, yet there's nights where I purposefully keep myself up all night to make myself spiral because I deserve to feel the pain.

My brain is so stupid. Sometimes I don't even know why I come on here, because I have the nerve to complain when I do it to myself because I deserve it.

Sorry if this entire post just sounds dumb. I'm always so, so much worse in the mornings and I feel like I'm not making sense.

 

[draw a circle]

I use my nails and teeth. The greatest thing is it leaves little to no mark, easily excused, and the bruises from the bite will go away after a few days. My skin is tan so no one will notice the bruise or the scars. Hit myself too, sometimes even with something hard like a remote or my phone. Turns out as long as your SH scars/marks isn't vertical lines on your wrists, nobody would bat an eye. Like a hypocrite, I used to tell my friend who did self harm to not cut themselves and use a rubber band or ice instead, but now I'm the one doing it. Also, guess who just found out that the tip of my mechanical pencil is sharp as hell

Ps sorry if I sound edgy somehow lol also I'm 20 and just started like one and a half year ago. I'm late to this thread but I've wanted to say these things out loud for a while

 

[Deleted member 18655]

40s, have used food/no food to harm myself forever. This year I began cutting (late to the game for sure!). At first it was only for the pain. Then the words I carved began to draw blood. And so it escalates slowly but surely...

 

[Toobrokentofix]

I'm 39 and still have episodes of cutting. Have done since I was 13. It occurs far less now but self destructive urges as bad as ever. Just want out now. Too old for this shit!

 

[MrBlue]

I'm 22 and still self harm on and off. Mostly just hitting myself or things that won't leave a mark, but last year at uni I sliced my arm up pretty badly with a scalpel. It kinda looked like I had surgery on that arm and the doctor forgot to stitch me up. I get what you mean by it feeling embarassing in your 20's, but this thread proves it isn't completely unusual/weird.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

i'm 33 now and i have cut since i was 12.
i'm 33 now and i have cut since i was 12.

 

[Kaugummi]

I am also in my 20s and still self harming. I feel like it's either just 'a phase' you grow out of or it literally consumes you.
Lost so much to this stupid addiction (yes, thatvs what it is for me).

 

[heraclitus]

Biting the back of my thumb, between the knuckle and first joint. Painful enough to release endorphins and only minimal (hardly noticeable) scar tissue.

 

[Emily_Numb]

I'm 37 and my go to is cutting with surgical single use scalpels because at least I know I won't get infected and the cuts will be clean. Also another form of SH would be binging and purging for me.