Resource Self Harm Megathread

[TheHatedOne]

Anything that is related to self harming goes here. How you started to do it? Why you do it? What's your method? Did you ever have clean periods? How big are your self harm urges today on a scale of 1 to 10?

In my case, I started to do it when I was a teenager, daily while in the second relationship I had, that traumatized me. Nowadays I do it because I'm completely worthless, there's nothing good about me and so I feel like the only thing I deserve is to suffer and be in pain. In the past I used to cut with knives, nowadays I either punch myself or hit myself with a bottle in the head. I had a clean period of about 3 years I think. Today my self harm urges are about 8, the feeling of worthlessness overwhelms me so much that I need to feel pain.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/self-harm-thread.57547/

 

[TheHatedOne]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/self-harm-thread.57547/

well okay then, it seems i cant post anything anymore in this forum. that thread was made in 2020. but nevermind.

it isn't the first time where there are multiple megathreads on the forum, but sure.

 

[Fcukmylife392]

Interested.

 

[solisoccasus]

Anything that is related to self harming goes here. How you started to do it? Why you do it? What's your method? Did you ever have clean periods? How big are your self harm urges today on a scale of 1 to 10?

In my case, I started to do it when I was a teenager, daily while in the second relationship I had, that traumatized me. Nowadays I do it because I'm completely worthless, there's nothing good about me and so I feel like the only thing I deserve is to suffer and be in pain. In the past I used to cut with knives, nowadays I either punch myself or hit myself with a bottle in the head. I had a clean period of about 3 years I think. Today my self harm urges are about 8, the feeling of worthlessness overwhelms me so much that I need to feel pain.

I started when i was high school then it stopped. Then it got worse over time specially now. I had to cut my erist everynight just to be able to sleep, the emotional pain is just too unbearable. I had to see my wrist bleed. Now my self harming are about i don't know, maybe a 10 with a knife.

 

[LivideLamb]

Anything that is related to self harming goes here. How you started to do it? Why you do it? What's your method? Did you ever have clean periods? How big are your self harm urges today on a scale of 1 to 10?

In my case, I started to do it when I was a teenager, daily while in the second relationship I had, that traumatized me. Nowadays I do it because I'm completely worthless, there's nothing good about me and so I feel like the only thing I deserve is to suffer and be in pain. In the past I used to cut with knives, nowadays I either punch myself or hit myself with a bottle in the head. I had a clean period of about 3 years I think. Today my self harm urges are about 8, the feeling of worthlessness overwhelms me so much that I need to feel pain.

I started self-harming as a prepubescent teenager, maybe around 11 or a little bit before. It made me feel alive, as edgy as it sounds. I would do cat scratches on my arms, they would fade a week after. Rinse and repeat. I stopped around 15.

And the habit came back a few months ago. Mid-winter in 2021. It's not that brutal but it's more brutal than it ever been for me. I cut myself deeper than ever, mostly on my legs, because I know that if there's is even a scratch on my arm, I will have to explain. It doesn't bring me relief anymore. Bruises give me more relief. They take a few weeks to fade, and I like them more.

Today was probably a low 3, my legs hurt because of the bruises.

 

[InezSerrano]

Earlier today I had the urge to stab myself with a needle a few times. I wanted to do it in various areas, but I only did my thigh because I thought that would be pretty safe. I used a sterile 1in 23g needle. I think this is pretty safe. It bled a bit but not that much, it still hurts, the pain isn't like normal cuts.

I don't know why I did this, I hope I don't feel this urge again. I sort of want to research the safe places I can stab myself, but also I feel like knowing where I can stab might make it more likely... I don't know, I've never wanted to do this, it's so scary, I wasn't even in a bad mood, I was happy, texting a friend of mine, but I just felt the urge and I had to do it.

I'm glad I only have urges to hurt myself and not other people, because I can't resist..

Also, I made a post about this on selfharm.pics, so if you're on there, hi!

 

[Acopia]

I'm going to a spa day with family next week.
I desperately need to cut but can't because when I'm splashing about in my swim suit people will be able to see my arms/legs. I'm considering cutting on my tummy but I've never done so before so am scared.
Please send strength! I need the relief that cutting brings!

-A

 

[symphony]

I'm going to a spa day with family next week.
I desperately need to cut but can't because when I'm splashing about in my swim suit people will be able to see my arms/legs. I'm considering cutting on my tummy but I've never done so before so am scared.
Please send strength! I need the relief that cutting brings!

-A

I hear you. I can only wear long pants these days. I've never cut there either...

 

[Acopia]

I'm going to a spa day with family next week.
I desperately need to cut but can't because when I'm splashing about in my swim suit people will be able to see my arms/legs. I'm considering cutting on my tummy but I've never done so before so am scared.
Please send strength! I need the relief that cutting brings!

-A

I don't understand how that emoji got so fucking giant!

 

[its-about-time]

First self harm was maybe 12 years old. I remember running down the street a few houses in the middle of the night to break a glass bottle. I used the shards for my first year or so. Started on arms but quickly moved to thighs when people saw the cuts. My sharp object evolved over time. I've had numerous significant clean periods. Last episode was 1-2 years ago, I repeatedly hit my legs with great force with a fresh razor blade, it cut rather deep and healed poorly. The scars are horribly ugly (bright purple and elevated), often itchy or painful, but help me not want to cut again. Should've just gone in for stitches. Hoping to never cut again but I feel the urge from time to time.

 

[𝔧𝔞𝔫𝔢 ⛧]

a girl in middle school said i should slf harm, all my friends were either doing it ortyig to stop. they all got over it while im still here at fucking 27 still cutting myself. i bought a medical scalpel once but honestly i prefer the exacto blades. i hit aan artery once too....

 

[Shu]

a girl in middle school said i should slf harm, all my friends were either doing it ortyig to stop. they all got over it while im still here at fucking 27 still cutting myself. i bought a medical scalpel once but honestly i prefer the exacto blades. i hit aan artery once too....

There's another self harm thread somewhere.

 

[Treeline589]

I've recently started cutting again after about 3 1/2 years clean. It works which is what makes
it so addicting.

 

[waitingforrest]

I can't stop thinking about it, I almost look forward to sh. The times I have been clean are just times I didn't realize I was sh in another way. I feel so pathetic that sh is the only thing that makes me feel better.

I know it's f**ked up to say, but I have a little joke to myself, calling it "human fruit ninja time"

Oh geez, how did I even get to this point?

 

[membo]

a girl in middle school said i should slf harm, all my friends were either doing it ortyig to stop. they all got over it while im still here at fucking 27 still cutting myself. i bought a medical scalpel once but honestly i prefer the exacto blades. i hit aan artery once too....

Where did you hit the artery?

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Recently picked self harming back up / relapsed. I know it shouldn't be, but it's so soothing to me. The part of my brain that feels guilty or says "this is bad, I shouldn't hurt myself" is withering. Yes, I do know that's terribly unhealthy.

 

[NSA]

I want to drive a tent spike through my left hand. Not going to of course, because I don't want nerve damage.

If video game magic existed, there would be no end to the crazy shit I would do to myself, knowing I can just heal it all, good as new.

 

[waitingforrest]

I truely dislike it when doctors see my cuts and ask if I was trying to ctb. If I was trying to ctb I would have went for a artery. I hate the pitying faces they make when they see my sh. So condesending. Just something about it annoys me on how their reactions change as soon as the wound becomes intentional. I just hate it all.

 

[BigPP]

I can't stop thinking about it, I almost look forward to sh. The times I have been clean are just times I didn't realize I was sh in another way. I feel so pathetic that sh is the only thing that makes me feel better.

I know it's f**ked up to say, but I have a little joke to myself, calling it "human fruit ninja time"

Oh geez, how did I even get to this point?

I've found the best way to avoid it is to put your blades on the other side of the room, and just be as lazy as possible. Even do that thing where you reach for it and be like nahhh, not worth getting up. Idk but it actually works for me, my laziness outweighing everything else.

 

[waitingforrest]

I've found the best way to avoid it is to put your blades on the other side of the room, and just be as lazy as possible. Even do that thing where you reach for it and be like nahhh, not worth getting up. Idk but it actually works for me, my laziness outweighing everything else.

Thanks for the advice! I will try that more often.