Self harm high?

[casctb]

I don't know why but whenever I self harm I get such a high. The pain in my chest is so good that I keep coming back for more but I feel depressed yet sort of elated at the same time? I normally hate pain and steer clear of it but this is the only pain that feels good. When something bad happens, I'm compelled to self harm. I use the pain that feels good to help me with the pain that just feels bad.

 

[Nymph]

I understand you, when I used to selfharm daily I also had this high. I also stay away from pain and have very low pain tolerance but I didn't mind self harm. Another toxic factor I had is that I kind of romanticized self harm and cared about the things I used for SH, like the knife I used I wanted it to look cute or whatever. I don't selfharm daily now but I do have new scars from just about a month ago.

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I never understood the idea that hurting oneself could be a release, but I started for the first time about a week ago and now completely understand the high. Sure I feel the pain but (sounds weird) I like it.

 

[Thinking]

That happens for me too. A part of me hates myself and gets scared when I cut, but a bigger part feels so happy and confident and motivated in a way that I never feel normally. Tbh I think I dissociate a bit in the moment so I don't notice the pain too much, but seeing the blood helps me

 

[Nymph]

That happens for me too. A part of me hates myself and gets scared when I cut, but a bigger part feels so happy and confident and motivated in a way that I never feel normally. Tbh I think I dissociate a bit in the moment so I don't notice the pain too much, but seeing the blood helps me

Same with the blood, when I see the blood drip it feels as if the troubles are leaving along with it!

 

[_Minsk]

have heard its common among bpd, maybe it feels good since you resolve self hate that way:/

 

[draw a circle]

i do self harm but doesn't feel satisfied from it (i only do it to stop feeling angry or sad or anxious) but sometimes i indulge myself in fanfics/stories that contains suicidal themes and my chest aches from it but i also like the feeling. when i feel down i do that and i will feel better somehow

 

[casctb]

i do self harm but doesn't feel satisfied from it (i only do it to stop feeling angry or sad or anxious) but sometimes i indulge myself in fanfics/stories that contains suicidal themes and my chest aches from it but i also like the feeling. when i feel down i do that and i will feel better somehow

Gonna be honest, when I was making this post I was referring more about emotional self harm than physical, though cutting does have a similar effect, so when you mentioned fanfiction with suicidal themes I thought "I do the exact same thing." Doing that is less obvious as cutting and has a greater effect on me.

 

[Hammer]

I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure the "physical" self harm many of us do is for one or multiple of these reasons..

1. It causes our body to release endorphins as a result of injury to make us feel better.

2. The actual physical pain thst happens distracts us from the mental pain we are going through, distraction is a very good thing and pain as it turns out is one of the best distraction techniques.

3. It reminds us that we have the ultimate control over our bodies, see that cut, see thst life essense draining out, yeah i caused that, I did that and I could make it much worse if I wanted to, I could end you at any point brain, so start working with me not against me or it's over for both of us.

 

[elfgyoza]

I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure the "physical" self harm many of us do is for one or multiple of these reasons..

1. It causes our body to release endorphins as a result of injury to make us feel better.

2. The actual physical pain thst happens distracts us from the mental pain we are going through, distraction is a very good thing and pain as it turns out is one of the best distraction techniques.

3. It reminds us that we have the ultimate control over our bodies, see that cut, see thst life essense draining out, yeah i caused that, I did that and I could make it much worse if I wanted to, I could end you at any point brain, so start working with me not against me or it's over for both of us.

I've never told anyone irl but honestly, I really like seeing the blood and sometimes that's the only reason I do it lol

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I find this too though I don't self harm much. There is a kind of excitement to it, feeling like I am venting some stress and self-destructive urges.