frail
★★★
- Nov 27, 2025
- 18
i always end up feeling this way whenever i see my mother. she visited to drop off gifts for the holidays but the entire time she was at my apartment i felt awful and wanted it to end.
afterward ive felt terrible. i want to be cruel and awful to my loved ones so they'll leave me alone. i feel like i want to hide away in my little corner of the world alone and not be found until im dead. i want to say horrible things to everyone so theyll stop caring about me. i hate feeling like theyre pitying me or know how awful i think of them when im like this. i feel like im lying to everybody all the time when i care or tell them i love and care about them. i feel so sick constantly for this. i dont understand anything. even the closest people to me i sometimes wish i was cruel to so theyd let me die quietly without interruption. most people hurt me and i just want to make them go away first so they dont have the chance to hurt me in the future.
i actually want to just bash my head into the wall to feel something this is so empty
afterward ive felt terrible. i want to be cruel and awful to my loved ones so they'll leave me alone. i feel like i want to hide away in my little corner of the world alone and not be found until im dead. i want to say horrible things to everyone so theyll stop caring about me. i hate feeling like theyre pitying me or know how awful i think of them when im like this. i feel like im lying to everybody all the time when i care or tell them i love and care about them. i feel so sick constantly for this. i dont understand anything. even the closest people to me i sometimes wish i was cruel to so theyd let me die quietly without interruption. most people hurt me and i just want to make them go away first so they dont have the chance to hurt me in the future.
i actually want to just bash my head into the wall to feel something this is so empty
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