Story Self-destruction before suicide

[cantdecidenameeven]

Instead of killing myself now, I've decided to do all the cool shit first. I'll hop on steroids and achieve an insane lean physique, and try some drugs I've always been scared to try. I'll stop looking for love and look for hookups like people my age. Makes no sense to search for love when I know at any second I could snap and end it, that's just another person to break.

Have you thought of this before?

 

[zadyszka]

Yes, I agree. There are a lot of things I've always wanted to try, but never tried due to being to scared of potential consequences. However, I eventually kind of developed a "I'll die soon anyway, so why would those consequences matter? Once I'm dead, it's irrelevant." mindset, which is why I've been doing / trying out a lot of risky things lately. I've always been a person who absolutely loves & craves adrenaline, so it's quite fun. It's kind of a "If it kills me, that's cool. If not, I will have experienced something interesting, which is cool as well" situation. Win-win, I'd say.

 

[cloudyskye]

Instead of killing myself now, I've decided to do all the cool shit first. I'll hop on steroids and achieve an insane lean physique, and try some drugs I've always been scared to try. I'll stop looking for love and look for hookups like people my age. Makes no sense to search for love when I know at any second I could snap and end it, that's just another person to break.

Have you thought of this before?

I do this a lot in different ways. Self sabotage/destruction. It's easy to do when you're living in survival mode every day so tomorrow doesn't matter. Just please becareful because your choices can catch up to you.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

deffff relate to this.

 

[L'absent]

No, I would never take anything that could cause me harm. Steroids and drugs could prevent me from making a wise suicide. For me there are no good things to do before death. I just have to get to the big moment of the end healthy and lucid. Death and I already know each other and we're going to a gala evening.

 

[savory]

It crosses my mind yet self harming/ self destructive behaviors and chasing highs are what got me where I am today, so the appeal is dampened. Doesn't feel worth it, I'm low on energy anyway. Hell, I can't even enjoy weed anymore and I can hardly believe how long it's been since I got laid.

 

[LostLily]

I don't drink but I'm tempted to try some before I CTB

 

[cantdecidenameeven]

Yes, I agree. There are a lot of things I've always wanted to try, but never tried due to being to scared of potential consequences. However, I eventually kind of developed a "I'll die soon anyway, so why would those consequences matter? Once I'm dead, it's irrelevant." mindset, which is why I've been doing / trying out a lot of risky things lately. I've always been a person who absolutely loves & craves adrenaline, so it's quite fun. It's kind of a "If it kills me, that's cool. If not, I will have experienced something interesting, which is cool as well" situation. Win-win, I'd say.

What risky things are you doing?

 

[zadyszka]

What risky things are you doing?

I would rather not admit to borderline illegal things on this website.

 

[turnaround]

Instead of killing myself now, I've decided to do all the cool shit first. I'll hop on steroids and achieve an insane lean physique, and try some drugs I've always been scared to try. I'll stop looking for love and look for hookups like people my age. Makes no sense to search for love when I know at any second I could snap and end it, that's just another person to break.

Have you thought of this before?

I went out Saturday night and got drunk and high for the first time in 13 years.