Venting Screams everywhere

[Hannah05]

I constantly have this screaming in my head, it just doesn't stop no matter how hard I hit my head. It hurts endlessly to hear my mother's voice saying "You're a useless child"; "You can't do anything"; "You were a mistake"; "You should never have been born"

It's been almost more than 8 years since I last saw my mother, I'm not sad that I don't have a family anymore... but of course it's normal to think about what it would be like to celebrate christmas with a family or something.

Banging my head against the wall every time just doesn't do anything, I just want to drill a hole in my head so that the thoughts and voices finally disappear or run out of my head like alphabet soup.
The whole world takes place in my head, every language, every scenario, every pain, every song is constantly in my head.
I just wish I could finally stop thinking about everything in the world. It just hurts endlessly to have so much knowledge about everything, it puts an abnormal amount of strain on your head. My brain memory is full, I have no more storage space in my head and no more energy in my brain.

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

Can feel your words in my bones. They never shut up, even if I try to please them, all it takes is one simple thing going slightly wrong and they're agreeing that I should live for the sake of hearing their constant screams cos I deserve to suffer. Distractions don't work, at times I start to subconsciously talk out loud agreeing with their words, at times I begin screaming while quoting them, that's too much. The real hell.