death137
miserable
- Jun 25, 2020
- 1,166
The only realistic way for me to leave this world is either via full suspension or cutting the carotid artery. Both are scary methods and I'm very angry because of that. But I need to ctb because its the only way forward. I will have to pay the price for being born. I wish ppl could stop breeding. Last week a relative came to our home with her child and while everyone was saying how cute she is, I was feeling sad for her. Life is hell. I'm sad that there isn't an option to pause and quickly/painlessly end life. That's what I sometimes do in my dream when I'm in a scary situation. I press the pause button and end it. I'm hating my existence even more because there isn't an easy way out (at least for me). I feel like telling my mother "if you love me then help me die in peace. Buy me N or send me to a country where N can easily be accessed". The most fortunate ppl for me are those that are accepted to be euthanized or just personally have access to N. Only if I know I've access to easy methods that my mind can truly rest. I wish we could all truly rest and leave in peace. Sorry for the rant. I've been feeling very angry lately.