Scared

[HelpPlease]

i have a child but I have sevwre brain damage and can no longer function. I am living in hell and I have been through extreme trauma. I've had enough!!!!!!!! I can feel myself getting weaker and weaker I've been housebound for quite some time. I live in fear and I scream out like Tourette's always. Drugs have fried my brain. I am living in a nightmare. I can't watch tv. I can't concentrate on much. I'm terrified. I didn't deserve this. I really fucked up so bad so bad so bad

 

[Jack]

Sorry friend. Maybe i'll see you on the other side and we'll both be well and happy.

 

[Sickman75]

i have a child but I have sevwre brain damage and can no longer function. I am living in hell and I have been through extreme trauma. I've had enough!!!!!!!! I can feel myself getting weaker and weaker I've been housebound for quite some time. I live in fear and I scream out like Tourette's always. Drugs have fried my brain. I am living in a nightmare. I can't watch tv. I can't concentrate on much. I'm terrified. I didn't deserve this. I really fucked up so bad so bad so bad

I'm really sorry that your suffering tremendously.
Others will chime in soon. I wish I could give you a hug right now.

 

[Jake.123]

i have a child but I have sevwre brain damage and can no longer function. I am living in hell and I have been through extreme trauma. I've had enough!!!!!!!! I can feel myself getting weaker and weaker I've been housebound for quite some time. I live in fear and I scream out like Tourette's always. Drugs have fried my brain. I am living in a nightmare. I can't watch tv. I can't concentrate on much. I'm terrified. I didn't deserve this. I really fucked up so bad so bad so bad

Could u be more specific about what u mean by drugs plz im curious (sorry btw silly question)

 

[Dead_Inside]

I am so sorry..... that is just horrible. And I know "sorry" is such a useless thing to hear.
The drug most people are medicated with for their various symptoms tend to produce side effects equally severe to the problem they cure- I think the physicians and drug companies just hope either we don't suffer them or they are more manageable than the symptoms they "fixed".

 

[Jake.123]

It started with pysch drugs but led to others. SSRI's - but I've had bouts with opiates- I've been prescribed benzos- drs drugs did more harm than anything. But I can barely function at all. These medications have destroyed my brain. I can barely leave the house at all. I can't smile or laugh and food tastes awful. I've had akathisia. It honestly no bullshit 100 percent feels like I'm being tortured alive daily nonstop. Torture. Not ctb from sadness or depression but literally bc I have no choice. No choice at all!!!!!! Everyone is going to say it was selfish but I've lasted longer than anyone of them would. Hour after hour day after day months after month hanging on by a thread in extreme suffering!!!!!!! Brain is literally fried. I am just a bit above a vegetable and a scared anxious one at that. A vegetable in a constant state of panic and fear. I was a drug addict but drs got me started. I have no choice but to ctb and no one who isn't in my head will get it. This is worse than cancer. I'd rather lose a foot. Fucking drugs have fried my brain- and the majority came from the fucking drs orders. Bc they don't give a shit. There's a little girl who will have an awful life from this. Bc I was irresponsible one time I created 50 years of sadness and pain in an innnocent person. I've already missed her childhood Bc drug addiction. I only used drugs to combat the pain I was in...

Wow sounds absolutely unbearable i hope u find some relief in some way.

 

[Tomoe]

It started with pysch drugs but led to others. SSRI's - but I've had bouts with opiates- I've been prescribed benzos- drs drugs did more harm than anything. But I can barely function at all. These medications have destroyed my brain. I can barely leave the house at all. I can't smile or laugh and food tastes awful. I've had akathisia. It honestly no bullshit 100 percent feels like I'm being tortured alive daily nonstop. Torture. Not ctb from sadness or depression but literally bc I have no choice. No choice at all!!!!!! Everyone is going to say it was selfish but I've lasted longer than anyone of them would. Hour after hour day after day months after month hanging on by a thread in extreme suffering!!!!!!! Brain is literally fried. I am just a bit above a vegetable and a scared anxious one at that. A vegetable in a constant state of panic and fear. I was a drug addict but drs got me started. I have no choice but to ctb and no one who isn't in my head will get it. This is worse than cancer. I'd rather lose a foot. Fucking drugs have fried my brain- and the majority came from the fucking drs orders. Bc they don't give a shit. There's a little girl who will have an awful life from this. Bc I was irresponsible one time I created 50 years of sadness and pain in an innnocent person. I've already missed her childhood Bc drug addiction. I only used drugs to combat the pain I was in...

It hurt me a lot to read that and it made my eyes tear. I don't know what to say except I wish the best for you and support whatever decision you make. Lots of love from this direction <3

 

[311]

I wish any of it wasn't true. Not to mention when I was hospitilized for severe depression they gave me fucking shock treatments which destroyed my memories. I was a helluva musician. Went to college. Now I've got no memory. Forgot almost everything. Be kind to your brain folks it's the only one you got and it turns out is really important. Your memories are important

You seem to be able to form sentences. Try to create new memories. Have you considered getting N?

 

[Jake.123]

I wish any of it wasn't true. Not to mention when I was hospitilized for severe depression they gave me fucking shock treatments which destroyed my memories. I was a helluva musician. Went to college. Now I've got no memory. Forgot almost everything. Be kind to your brain folks it's the only one you got and it turns out is really important. Your memories are important

THEY STILL DO SHOCK THERAPY?!
Tf man

 

[311]

THEY STILL DO SHOCK THERAPY?!
Tf man

I guess it works. It's not how you picture it

 

[Donewith_]

Sorry to know life put you in this situation.. yeah, sometimes it feels like it's more than enough. If I may ask how old is your kid?

 

[Minudah]

I guess it works. It's not how you picture it

It's still cruel and causes brain damage. People get crippled for life from it, and psychiatry is trying to bring it back. It's disgusting.

 

[Raggas]

I don't know what to say, that just sounds like a living nightmare. Please try not to be scared, you're in a place where others understand you.

 

[311]

Yes but I'm kinda unable to!!!!!

Why tho

 

[felix]

i have a child but I have sevwre brain damage and can no longer function. I am living in hell and I have been through extreme trauma. I've had enough!!!!!!!! I can feel myself getting weaker and weaker I've been housebound for quite some time. I live in fear and I scream out like Tourette's always. Drugs have fried my brain. I am living in a nightmare. I can't watch tv. I can't concentrate on much. I'm terrified. I didn't deserve this. I really fucked up so bad so bad so bad

I'm sry. How long have u been in the house?

 

[311]

I can't Handel complicated orders and shit my brain doesn't work too well

Have you considered SN. Getting bitcoin is pretty easy and so is sending it. Just download coinbase and link your bank account.

 

[311]

That sounds like a terrible way to go

I dont think SN is that peaceful either.