Scared of dying but also don’t want to live?

[Embers]

Is anyone else absolutely terrified of death, but also doesn't necessarily want to live?

the thought of dying in a manner of which I don't have control, ie an accident, or murder, or health or whatever scares the crap out of me.
I also don't necessarily want to exist either, and being in control of when I die makes it a little less scary, but death in general still terrifies me. I don't know what specifically it is that scares me, the unknown maybe?

Anyone relate?

 

[GarageKarate07]

Don't be afraid of dying. I'm gonna be there so it's probly gonna be awesome!

I have a deep anxiety so this world acares me very single day. The sun coming up terrifies me. The people walking by outside scare me. Driving scares me. It's like my heart has a million little heart attacks every day all day long. It doesn't end. There's many problems on top of that but that one is a life quality destroyer. Death cant be worse. If it is scary then I'm already used to that. Got lots of practice being scared my whole life. Can't be worse than this place and the way things are here. There can't be more worries there. Hopefully it's a nice place.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

The way I see it there's no chance of my suicide "ImPaCtInG" an eventual whateverthefuck after death, so speeding up the process I am very certain will not be something negative. Ten seconds of complete agony, the worst seconds of my life, that I'm obviously not thrilled about--but I think it's a very low price to avoid decades, centuries or millennia of suffering.

For me it's family and some logistics (bring a chair into the woods? ) screwing up my deathwish, also too comfy and have too much fun on the forum

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Relatable, and natural I think. We're hard-wired to survive and to carry on living. Its *extremely* difficult to overcome those very basic instincts and do something so daunting.

Here's a fascinating talk on suicide and what it takes for a person to confront the fear of it...



I don't wish to diminish your feelings or experience. I think you can be suicidal and still be terrified of death. Its important to remember though that suicidality doesn't necessarily mean that you want to be dead - just that you have run out of ways to cope with living.

 

[Lupgevif]

I relate a little, yes. But I'd rather much more die in a manner I have no control of than of suicide, so there is no survival instinct to get in the way.

 

[Leiden]

Don't be afraid of dying. I'm gonna be there so it's probly gonna be awesome!

I have a deep anxiety so this world acares me very single day. The sun coming up terrifies me. The people walking by outside scare me. Driving scares me. It's like my heart has a million little heart attacks every day all day long. It doesn't end. There's many problems on top of that but that one is a life quality destroyer. Death cant be worse. If it is scary then I'm already used to that. Got lots of practice being scared my whole life. Can't be worse than this place and the way things are here. There can't be more worries there. Hopefully it's a nice place.

I couldn't of said it better. That's exactly how it feels" like a million little heart attack's" I'm scared of everything too now.

 

[Embers]

Relatable, and natural I think. We're hard-wired to survive and to carry on living. Its *extremely* difficult to overcome those very basic instincts and do something so daunting.

Here's a fascinating talk on suicide and what it takes for a person to confront the fear of it...



I don't wish to diminish your feelings or experience. I think you can be suicidal and still be terrified of death. Its important to remember though that suicidality doesn't necessarily mean that you want to be dead - just that you have run out of ways to cope with living.

Your last paragraph hit me. That's exactly it. I've never heard it described as that before, but that's exactly it.
Any advice for when suicidality feels like that? Most of the time I do not 100% want to die, I want things to stop, or slow, or pause, but not necessarily die.
A smaller percentage of the time I 100% do want to die. But most of the time it's more that life is very hard and I simply do not have the right tools to deal with it, and escaping is the only way forwards.
I love the enthusiasm of your comment. It's reassuring to know there will be nice peeps like yourself there! We must meet up for a party or something in the next life/death/whatever the feck is beyond!

 

[noname223]

I can relate a bit. I am pretty convinced there is nothing after death but the pain which might beats SI will be tremendous. I am rather scared about the pain which will lead me to this step.

 

[Embers]

Relatable, and natural I think. We're hard-wired to survive and to carry on living. Its *extremely* difficult to overcome those very basic instincts and do something so daunting.

Here's a fascinating talk on suicide and what it takes for a person to confront the fear of it...



I don't wish to diminish your feelings or experience. I think you can be suicidal and still be terrified of death. Its important to remember though that suicidality doesn't necessarily mean that you want to be dead - just that you have run out of ways to cope with living.

Any other videos / documentaries like this? I found it fascinating!

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Any other videos / documentaries like this? I found it fascinating!

How about a deep philosophical one on the importance of talking about suicide and how religion has shaped attitudes towards it...