Scared about the future

[noname223]

My life is not horrible now. It is okay. In the evening i am (very) depressed but at the other time my mental state is okay (no pain). But i am very very scared about the future. My outlook is probably suicide. I am bipolar and the depressions will become way worse again. It hangs like a sword of Damocles sword over me. I probably cannot work and poverty will kill me. I went through hell in my life two times. I had extreme psycho-somatic pain. If this happens again, I want to be ready to leave.
I am more scared about the future than about my current state. This obviously influences my life quality.
Do you have similar experiences?

 

[WornOutLife]

Hey, we have some things in common.
I'm bipolar, depressed and also scared of my future.

What I'm doing to deal with that is just understanding that if I don't become a normal human being, I will end up in a psych ward until I'm grey and old.
Best-case-scenario, I'll successfully ctb but I doubt it. I don't have the guts.

So, it's either trying to lead a normal life or going to a psych ward for me.
For the time being, I'm giving life a second shot but this is the LAST chance.