Message In A Bottle
📜 Just me, myself, and I
- Apr 1, 2022
- 361
I knew this day was coming…my last shred of happiness gone. The one bond, that was like no other gone. It's only been a few hours but I miss her so much. And you'd think it was a person but no, she was a dog. But she was more than a dog to me. She was my best friend, and the closest connection I had with any anyone, even a human.
No human could compare to her. No human cared like she did. Unlike humans who only care about superficial nonsense, where your importance is revoked if you're no longer meeting a certain need, she loved me no matter how weird I was. No matter how gross I looked. At the time we got her, I was coping with a loss of another dog. I was 12 at the time, and though the other kids would tease me and call me disgusting, she loved me.
And I loved her to the very end, even when I had to change her diaper, use baby wipes and ointment so she wouldn't get diaper rash, helping her when she was too weak to eat, having to sacrifice sleep, giving her medicines twice a day, carrying her places, riding her around in her kid carrier so she can be with me. I'd do all those things again in a heartbeat for her, if it meant seeing her face one last time.
But I know I couldn't have her suffering. She's always been a tough girl, but I knew the end stages of cancer were catching up to her. She no longer ate her favorite foods, played with her toy, or got excited over the littlest of things. She was telling me it was time. Yesterday night, she was so restless. Wandering aimlessly even when she was so weak. As if she was trying to find a place to die. I couldn't have her go through that. Luckily with dogs, they are treated better than humans and have access to a very special N of their own. No questions asked.
I wanted to be there for her, to send her off on her bus ride. It was the last thing I could do for her, even though it was so painful. She passed in my arms, and I know she wouldn't have had it any other way.
Graham, I love you. I don't know how I'm supposed to make it in this world without you. You were the only one keeping me here. I will never stop loving you, and I am so thankful to have had a buddy like you in my life. Even at your sickest, you'd muster up the energy to look for me. Keep an eye on me with those big brown eyes of yours. You're the sweetest animal I'll ever come to know, and thank you for blessing me with your presence.
No human could compare to her. No human cared like she did. Unlike humans who only care about superficial nonsense, where your importance is revoked if you're no longer meeting a certain need, she loved me no matter how weird I was. No matter how gross I looked. At the time we got her, I was coping with a loss of another dog. I was 12 at the time, and though the other kids would tease me and call me disgusting, she loved me.
And I loved her to the very end, even when I had to change her diaper, use baby wipes and ointment so she wouldn't get diaper rash, helping her when she was too weak to eat, having to sacrifice sleep, giving her medicines twice a day, carrying her places, riding her around in her kid carrier so she can be with me. I'd do all those things again in a heartbeat for her, if it meant seeing her face one last time.
But I know I couldn't have her suffering. She's always been a tough girl, but I knew the end stages of cancer were catching up to her. She no longer ate her favorite foods, played with her toy, or got excited over the littlest of things. She was telling me it was time. Yesterday night, she was so restless. Wandering aimlessly even when she was so weak. As if she was trying to find a place to die. I couldn't have her go through that. Luckily with dogs, they are treated better than humans and have access to a very special N of their own. No questions asked.
I wanted to be there for her, to send her off on her bus ride. It was the last thing I could do for her, even though it was so painful. She passed in my arms, and I know she wouldn't have had it any other way.
Graham, I love you. I don't know how I'm supposed to make it in this world without you. You were the only one keeping me here. I will never stop loving you, and I am so thankful to have had a buddy like you in my life. Even at your sickest, you'd muster up the energy to look for me. Keep an eye on me with those big brown eyes of yours. You're the sweetest animal I'll ever come to know, and thank you for blessing me with your presence.
