GentleJerk

GentleJerk

Carrot juice pimp.
Dec 14, 2021
1,373
-Tat. Tat tat. Tat. Tat tat. Tat tat tat. Tat....- (An electromagnetic signal, with fundamental frequencies of the higher harmonics, at a pulsed repetition rate of between 5hz to 15hz, can be heard clicking over the HAM Radio in the background)

(In Russian) "...Relax, comrade. We are trying to detect missiles, okay? ...Oh, by the way, how do you feel?"

(Silence.)

"...Geez, we've got a lively one here."

"Okay, what about if we throw this ball to you! How quickly do you think you can catch it?"

*With great strength, a large man wearing a Ushanka tosses a red ball with a Russian hammer & sickle logo at your head*

(The ball hits you square in the face, you were just a little too slow to deflect it.)

(In the background, several HAM Radio operators take notes, stroke their nonexistent beards inquisitively, and watch as you tend to your broken nose)

... (In Russian) "Soooo... anyway. Crazy weather we're havin', da?"
 
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