Venting Running out of Time

[prettycvnt]

I feel like the clock is ticking for me to ctb. This site was a big hope for me but I can't seem to find any sources after days of searching. I will continue searching but I really hope I find some soon. I would hate to be here in February. One thing I know for sure is that I absolutely cannot live to see my 19th birthday, there's just no way I can make it til then. 19 years of being a complete failure and burden is crazy. Idek why I'm posting this. I'm just frustrated. I hope I can find sources before the end of December. God, I do not wanna be here around this time next year. This is a stupid post, just trying to get my frustration out.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I really wish it's easier to cease existing, we shouldn't have to struggle so much to die. But anyway best of luck.

 

[Mirrory Me]

That time is approaching soon. I genuinely wish there was something worth waiting for, some dream or wish, or a general interest in life.

 

[prettycvnt]

That time is approaching soon. I genuinely wish there was something worth waiting for, some dream or wish, or a general interest in life.

Same here. But it seems I don't have anything going for me.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

You're pretty young, are you sure there is no opportunity that can make your life worthliving ? studies that interest you or a passion with which you could build a life?
I'm not there to judge your decision based on your age, just asking.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

19 years of being a complete failure and burden is crazy.

You parents are responsible when they decided to produce you. You weren't asked whether you wanted to be here or not. Therefore you should never feel like u r a burden for them. I think you refer to your parents who are responsible for you. You're also certainly not a failure imo.

 

[prettycvnt]

You're pretty young, are you sure there is no opportunity that can make your life worthliving ? studies that interest you or a passion with which you could build a life?
I'm not there to judge your decision based on your age, just asking.

There is opportunity, I'm just not the type to take it. I have no interest in making something of my life and see absolutely no point in doing so. I think death really is the only way out for someone like me. I feel my case is unique, because most people my age would at least try to change. But no, knowing myself and my past behavior, there is only one option. Thanks for your reply.

You parents are responsible when they decided to produce you. You weren't asked whether you wanted to be here or not. Therefore you should never feel like u r a burden for them. I think you refer to your parents who are responsible for you. You're also certainly not a failure imo.

Thanks. But I really can't bring myself to blame them at this age. I have to take some responsibility for my actions and my life. My parents did everything they could to give me a good life and I'm grateful.

 

[hi-okbye]

I completely feel the frustration you're under.
Just know this, it's not the end of the world if you don't end up ctbing by that date. I've had so many dates I've marked to never live to, no matter what, and look at that I'm still here.

I'm saying this because the stress of finishing by that date can actually make it worse. The extra stress in your mind can cause you to rush even if you have enough time. I've had attempts I've botched simply due to the stress of having to be dead by 12am or something,
Take a deep breath, know that it IS okay if you live to your birthday, and if you truly wish, continue researching your method and finding sources, I wish you the best.

 

[prettycvnt]

I completely feel the frustration you're under.
Just know this, it's not the end of the world if you don't end up ctbing by that date. I've had so many dates I've marked to never live to, no matter what, and look at that I'm still here.

I'm saying this because the stress of finishing by that date can actually make it worse. The extra stress in your mind can cause you to rush even if you have enough time. I've had attempts I've botched simply due to the stress of having to be dead by 12am or something,
Take a deep breath, know that it IS okay if you live to your birthday, and if you truly wish, continue researching your method and finding sources, I wish you the best.

Thank you so much for this reply.