Smelly_ballz

Smelly_ballz

No hope in heaven, No fear of hell
Oct 30, 2023
122
I'm running away bc I 1) don't want my family to find me and 2) I cannot cope with life. If I fail to ctb, I will try again another time. I have disappointed everyone. I'm a failure. I have disappointed myself. Life is a horrible pain. I wish I wasn't born. I hope that I am not grieved too badly but I know my lover will be heartbroken (and that's an understatement). I just can't keep doing this. I wish it wasn't so close to the holidays bc they already spent money on me and another family member died during this month a couple years ago. I am in agony.
 
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breezeboy

breezeboy

To infinity and beyond
Dec 8, 2023
404
I'm sorry to hear that you're in so much pain. I'm in a similar situation and the main thing holding me back is knowing how much it'll hurt my family. It feels like in order to get rid of my pain I have to disperse it to the people who love me. If youd like to chat im here
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,207
It's certainly understandable just wishing to be relieved from all the suffering existing brings, I wish you the best and I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.
 
Smelly_ballz

Smelly_ballz

No hope in heaven, No fear of hell
Oct 30, 2023
122
Update: I ended up not running away bc of the weather and bc I got scared. I tried to ctb at home but now I am on suicide watch :/
 
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