Hello everyone. I am a new member here. My life has been really, really tough for the past years. Just to give you a short story about me, I am 27 yrs old from the Philippines. I was adopted by 2 old maids when I was born. They said my biological parents left me. I assume that I am an unwanted child so they decided to give me away. I have a good childhood too. I was provided everything I need. But when I was a young, I always envy those kids who have their fathers and siblings. I always feel alone and trapped inside home. Though I was raised well by my supportive mothers. Finished college at 20 and started working since then. The pressure is on me from school to work. My family and relatives have high expectations on me. Since I am not related to them by blood, I feel that these so called relatives are all against me. Was never close to anyone of my relatives aside from my mothers who raised me. Well, to cut it short early this year I lost one of my mom at 74 years old. After few months I lost my job and my partner left me alone. My ex left me without saying a word last June and I was suffering from severe anxiety and depression since then. I can't go back to work anymore. I feel so worthless and hopeless. I can't eat and sleep properly at all. I am considering suicide for the past few weeks and I chose hanging as my method. I ordered a 2 meter rope online since I do not want to get out of the house. I wanna know if this is a good choice. Will it hurt? Should I do full or partial suspension? I do not have an exact date when I will do it but yeah, maybe sooner. I just want this to end.
