Romanticizing/curating your death

[BRAINWORMS]

This is probably in part due to growing up in online spaces where depression was romanticized, but I'm finding myself romanticizing my own death. I know death is messy and awful for most people witnessing it, but for some reason, I'm putting a lot of my energy into planning the aesthetics of how I plan to CTB: what I'll wear, objects I want in the room, music I want to play, etc. It's to the point where I'm making Pinterest mood boards for it. Maybe I'm trying to take the sting out of the finality of it all by having as much aesthetic control as I can to the point where it's almost romantic.

I know this probably made little sense, but can anyone else relate?

 

[Lady black]

I'm doing the same

 

[Deleted member 19654]

This is probably in part due to growing up in online spaces where depression was romanticized,

I can relate to this part. I used to be on Tumblr all the time and would see/reblog all these posts about depression. It's weird how it was cool/edgy to be this depressed 'emo' teenager.

 

[TAW122]

I had thought about the manner in which I die, where I die, when I die, etc. As for very specifics on what I wear and every little detail, I'm not too concerned about the aesthetics because when I made a decision to die, I am just focused on the dying part (getting past that SI, getting my method ready, calmly and methodically execute it). I'd say what's most important is that I succeed in my attempt as I won't have a 2nd chance and also to get my message to the appropriate recipients.

 

[Theregoesthatidea]

Omg me too! I really want a somewhat beautiful death as well! Im not sure where it comes from, aside from a need to not look trashy upon discovery i guess. Ive stalked some nice etsy shops for flowy soft dresses to die in ill link 'em here.

BestTailor - Etsy Canada

Shop items by BestTailor.

www.etsy.com

Anysize - Etsy Canada

Shop Tailor Made any size for everyone internationally! by Anysize located in Hong Kong, Hong Kong. Smooth dispatch! Has a history of dispatching on time with tracking. Speedy replies! Has a history of replying to messages quickly. Rave reviews! Average review rating is 4.8 or higher

www.etsy.com

Honestly regardless of gender identity, everyone deserves a soft flowy dress/robe to die in imho

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Seeing all these posts makes me want to dress up for my ctb I can't remember the song but there was a line from it 'when I go to meet God, I want to look nice'

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

When I went to a hotel room to do it before, I took a quilt signed by my former students to lay down on, photos of my husband, puppy, mother, and best friend, and I had a playlist set. Perhaps I'm romanticizing it, but maybe I just want to be sure that during my final moments in this life—although I'll be alone—I'm surrounded by the few things in life that brought me true joy. Life has been difficult. The pathway to death is hard enough too. Why not try to make it as enjoyable as possible?

 

[Robyn]

When I went to a hotel room to do it before, I took a quilt signed by my former students to lay down on, photos of my husband, puppy, mother, and best friend, and I had a playlist set. Perhaps I'm romanticizing it, but maybe I just want to be sure that during my final moments in this life—although I'll be alone—I'm surrounded by the few things in life that brought me true joy. Life has been difficult. The pathway to death is hard enough too. Why not try to make it as enjoyable as possible?

The is a movie entitled "32 Pills" that a woman made about her sister's suicide.
Her sister was a artist, and designed the site of her death like a stage set:

" Ruth Litoff decorated her Manhattan loft like a beautiful stage set with fifteen suicide notes surrounding her and specially selected gifts for her closest friends..."

You may want to check it out.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I live alone and have been stuck in this apartment for six months. I hate this place even more since Lockdown. I'll die here (soon).

It would be sad and pathetic and heart-wrenching if someone were to see it, with sorrowful music playing in the background, a lone spotlight on me and camera closeups at the right spots... But I'll be the only one seeing it. I want it quick, emotionless and over before it started.

 

[Green Destiny]

I can relate, personalizing your CTB attempt with what you wan't to wear, what music to listen to etc. I can understand that.

 

[Nymph]

Same, I've made a lot of drawings involving the method I wanna use and I plan on wearing a cute Lolita dress