awfullife

awfullife

Arcanist
Nov 16, 2019
435
What does it feel like right before you CTB. I just drove my car down to the location I've got planned. It was intense. I don't have gun yet but I could only imagine how it feels.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
In my case, the two times I tried and was about to CTB, I felt nervous and extremely relaxed at the same time. Does that make sense? Maybe it was the adrenaline of the moment.
Anyway, wish you the best with your plan and remember: you can be nervous but your mind (being calm) is the boss at that very moment.
 
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awfullife

awfullife

Arcanist
Nov 16, 2019
435
Did you just decide to not do it or did something else happen if you don't mind me asking?
 
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Giraffey

Giraffey

Your Orange Crush
Mar 7, 2020
439
Interesting question.

My last serious attempt was partial hanging under non-ideal conditions. I felt mentally calm and collected in the hours leading up. I had rehearsed during the previous nighttime as I was unguarded, I waited to be alone that morning. I had my usual cup of tea, then sat and reflected on my life and my family. I reflected upon the seriousness of my decision, but assured myself they would understand, and then I proceeded to set up the apparatus.

The most nervous I felt was in the immediate moment before I allowed the noose to tighten, I was apprehensive and unsure of what to expect. As it turned out, the actual experience was rather horrific before I fell unconscious. But again, that was under non-ideal circumstances and I was really attempting to escape an extreme situation, so my experiences may not really be representative.
 
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sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,870
I think it feels different for everyone. It has always been a feeling of excitement for me.
 
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