Discussion Right at the last minute

[Tiredandfedup]

What would be the only thing that would stop you from ctb at the last minute? Has any one had any weird grippy visions or dreams before that?

 

[Dead_Inside]

I want to imagine that something lovely and special would stop me- that I could be someone more than this person I see, something special. But nothing happened when I attempted to kill myself. I would/should have just died right there on the fucking shitty couch.
I would have enjoyed a bit of a vision or something though .... but nothingness was welcome enough.

 

[Jen Erik]

What would be the only thing that would stop you from ctb at the last minute?

I identify a point of failure or an impediment in my method.

 

[stargazer]

Interruption or people hanging around. Would have to change locations

 

[Toenditall]

Nothing will ever stop me now I'm past the point of trying to live

 

[Ben]

Honestly if you showed up with a case of beer and some weed, I'd hold it off for another night lol

 

[Made4TV]

Money to help with debt, living expenses and to pay for therapy.

 

[TAW122]

Knowing that things didn't go to plan and have to abandon the attempt. These could include but aren't limited to: change in location, timing of the method, barriers to obtaining a method, not finding a secluded location/location isn't what I anticipated (more people or less private than I imagined), also if there is a last minute change to things. These are things that could lower my chances of success, thus forcing me to postpone my attempt.

 

[anelakapu]

Thoughts stop me everytime. My mom is a hardcore new ager and I think she planted a lot of delusional fantasy ideas in my head while raising me so even tho I know the reality of things arent good , i always have a voice in the back of my head telling me I've manifested this and I can bEcOmE my Higher Self if i just stop putting off my karmic debt etc. Etc. And i secretly do actually want my suffering to be worth something/have meaning , that added to the terror of a sudden stopping of consciousness in all its chaos just builds up anxiety in those final moments when im about to act. Life itself is chaos and death is just..the opposite of that and even tho i want peace, ive just gotten so accustomed to the chaos.. its just fear at the last minute. A fear of "change". I never used to have this problem but i think after you betray yourself so many times and compromise your own values , it starts to not matter whether you kill yourself or not. Alot of people who are successful in their "change" stay strangely in tact. I however sometimes feel like im not even worth death.

 

[Jiva]

Maybe only afraid of strong pain (i know it), and if someone interrupts me.