astrichaoz
And if I were someone else, would this be easier?
- Apr 15, 2024
- 41
Hello everyone. As I am hopefully preparing for my departure, I am looking to get some feedback on my plan. This time it has to work. However, my suicidality and depressing thoughts has recently inclined by a ton, so I don't know if I'm thinking 100% rationally and if this is gonna end up as another impulsive attempt, so I wanted some feedback.
I plan to get an airbnb. As much as I would prefer a hotel, I really can't afford it. I only have about 132 dollars. I have no source of income either, I had to unenroll from college after being kicked out of dorms due to being bakeracted recently, and obviously that means I lost my work study job too. I could hypothetically get a job and by my first or second paycheck, have enough for a hotel but I don't know if that's worth it. The airbnb however has other rooms that other guests rent out. I'm worried I'm going to be loud during my attempt (death rattling, potentially falling over) and it will result in me being "saved". If I put a towel under the door, play the TV loudly, play music, and possibly try to lay face down, would that be enough to muffle any of my sounds?
Now onto the actual plan for the SN. I plan to fast for at least 24 hours, and stop drinking anything for about 3 or 4 hours. I have no AEs or benzos, purely the SN. The check in time for the air bnb is 2 PM.
2:00 PM: Arrive at the airbnb and set everything up. (3 cups of the SN mixture)
2:15 PM: Take my first cup or SN. (20 grams in 60 ML of water. I am about 120 pounds, so I think this should be enough SN, right?)
2:30 PM: By this time, I think I'll try and down my second cup of SN, same amount as the last cup.
Then I just would wait it out, the third cup would be for if i vomited at all.
So how does this plan sound? I feel pretty sure in it, the only thing I'm worried about is being found. With a hotel, that is at least a bit less of a possibility, but with this airbnb it's shared so that creates an issue. I also feel really bad about doing it in an airbnb because it's owned by an individual instead of a corporate chain, and other people are most likely also going to be there, but I'm just in so much pain that I hardly don't care anymore. So yeah, I just need some advice on what you guys think. Any help would be appreciated, thank you.
I plan to get an airbnb. As much as I would prefer a hotel, I really can't afford it. I only have about 132 dollars. I have no source of income either, I had to unenroll from college after being kicked out of dorms due to being bakeracted recently, and obviously that means I lost my work study job too. I could hypothetically get a job and by my first or second paycheck, have enough for a hotel but I don't know if that's worth it. The airbnb however has other rooms that other guests rent out. I'm worried I'm going to be loud during my attempt (death rattling, potentially falling over) and it will result in me being "saved". If I put a towel under the door, play the TV loudly, play music, and possibly try to lay face down, would that be enough to muffle any of my sounds?
Now onto the actual plan for the SN. I plan to fast for at least 24 hours, and stop drinking anything for about 3 or 4 hours. I have no AEs or benzos, purely the SN. The check in time for the air bnb is 2 PM.
2:00 PM: Arrive at the airbnb and set everything up. (3 cups of the SN mixture)
2:15 PM: Take my first cup or SN. (20 grams in 60 ML of water. I am about 120 pounds, so I think this should be enough SN, right?)
2:30 PM: By this time, I think I'll try and down my second cup of SN, same amount as the last cup.
Then I just would wait it out, the third cup would be for if i vomited at all.
So how does this plan sound? I feel pretty sure in it, the only thing I'm worried about is being found. With a hotel, that is at least a bit less of a possibility, but with this airbnb it's shared so that creates an issue. I also feel really bad about doing it in an airbnb because it's owned by an individual instead of a corporate chain, and other people are most likely also going to be there, but I'm just in so much pain that I hardly don't care anymore. So yeah, I just need some advice on what you guys think. Any help would be appreciated, thank you.
