Livingvsdying25
Enlightened
- Dec 8, 2019
- 1,188
Feel resentment towards the staff I was talking to last week.
I feel like them pointing out ONE aspect of my mental health was very shady.
Like everyone tries so hard to come off as genuine and it's fucking bullshit. It's obvious when there's another agenda at play.
It makes me feel really disgusting when people try WA
IT y TOO HARD and inaccurately to try to understand or relate to me...
People that do that aren't seeing me as a human being. Just as a compilation of symptoms and reactions. It's tiring.
Like people often don't bother/want to get to know someone and why they do things.
They just want like the simplest solution.
(I'm talking specifically in mental health spaces but this happens very often in general)
I'm angry at the worker last week for even bringing up noticing "traits" within me. I think it was misguided and wasn't genuinely and probably to fit their own agenda.
I opened up bc I felt like I was being seen as a person. Now I feel like a spectacle
I dunno how to express this to them but it's been getting to me. I asked why they brought up... and tbh more of my question was about how obvious to other people bx I don't wanna be ostracized here even further.
Making it sound like some big dark secret or some shit. Which it isn't for me we just live in a shitty society and I as a black queer woman am already invalidated enough with everything.
So yeah I'm feeling resentment and I dunno how to deal with it. I've been writing it out. I don't talk to anyone here nor do I feel like it anymore (people don't deserve to make up their half-ass version of me when they don't/diddododon't put in the effort to get to know me.)
I guess I can just plainly say to them... "hey since last week I've been struggling with feelings of resentment bc I'm hella suspicious of you bringing that up. I am wondering how pure are your intentions? I don't think they are as innocent or caring as you say... what do u even plan to do with the info anyway?
Also... it was nice to share that aspect of my mental health but it isn't that big of a deal for me. It isn't something I share bc stigma and also it's something I deal with on my own...
I dunno but I'm again just swirling with regret that I've allowed someone to think they know me... or understand me... and I know they don't.
Most of the time in life there isn't a point in telling someone " you're wrong about me, you don't fully see me or understand." So I've had to hold assumptions all my life.
Haa dunno
I feel like them pointing out ONE aspect of my mental health was very shady.
Like everyone tries so hard to come off as genuine and it's fucking bullshit. It's obvious when there's another agenda at play.
It makes me feel really disgusting when people try WA
IT y TOO HARD and inaccurately to try to understand or relate to me...
People that do that aren't seeing me as a human being. Just as a compilation of symptoms and reactions. It's tiring.
Like people often don't bother/want to get to know someone and why they do things.
They just want like the simplest solution.
(I'm talking specifically in mental health spaces but this happens very often in general)
I'm angry at the worker last week for even bringing up noticing "traits" within me. I think it was misguided and wasn't genuinely and probably to fit their own agenda.
I opened up bc I felt like I was being seen as a person. Now I feel like a spectacle
I dunno how to express this to them but it's been getting to me. I asked why they brought up... and tbh more of my question was about how obvious to other people bx I don't wanna be ostracized here even further.
Making it sound like some big dark secret or some shit. Which it isn't for me we just live in a shitty society and I as a black queer woman am already invalidated enough with everything.
So yeah I'm feeling resentment and I dunno how to deal with it. I've been writing it out. I don't talk to anyone here nor do I feel like it anymore (people don't deserve to make up their half-ass version of me when they don't/diddododon't put in the effort to get to know me.)
I guess I can just plainly say to them... "hey since last week I've been struggling with feelings of resentment bc I'm hella suspicious of you bringing that up. I am wondering how pure are your intentions? I don't think they are as innocent or caring as you say... what do u even plan to do with the info anyway?
Also... it was nice to share that aspect of my mental health but it isn't that big of a deal for me. It isn't something I share bc stigma and also it's something I deal with on my own...
I dunno but I'm again just swirling with regret that I've allowed someone to think they know me... or understand me... and I know they don't.
Most of the time in life there isn't a point in telling someone " you're wrong about me, you don't fully see me or understand." So I've had to hold assumptions all my life.
Haa dunno
