It's a method for suicide, man. I mean shit, if it were as easy as swiping a credit card, yeah sure that'd be fucking wonderful. There's no easy way. I get it because I'm in the same boat. I want a painless, fearless, and 100% fool-proof method. There's literally nothing on earth in any category that fits the description of being perfect.
You complain of vomiting and stomach pain: dude, you're drinking poison for fuck's sake. There is not a single reason for a human being to be ingesting ANY of that stuff. People choose N over SN because N works so well. That's what it was designed for. Those expensive bottles of N have one purpose: they are to be administered orally and they are meant to kill.
Maybe someone wants to know what SN tastes like: well, it ain't a $5.00 shake (obligatory Pulp Fiction reference) my friend. Supposed to taste like salty shit. The saltiest and nastiest shit you've ever put into your mouth at this point in your life. You're about to kill yourself and the last thing you'll possibly remember is sucking down literally the worst thing you've tasted in your life.
There are so many factors in a botched suicide that aren't thought about as much as the people saying "it just don't work. It's bunk." I mean, the people who vomited, did they properly take the correct antiemetic to prevent vomiting as it is plainly described.
Headaches, yeah that one's not fun. Did the person take enough pain reliever as detailed in Stan's Guide? Did they take a beta-blocker? A beta-blocker helps slow one's heart rate which is a good thing in this situation, because SN will make your heartrate shoot through the roof. It says in the guide that these beta-blockers are mere luxury items not actually necessary to the job at hand, and that's true. If I do SN (which is probably my choice since N is harder to get for me and I already have A and an antimetic. Hey guess what everyone reading this? I got that information from Stan's Guide.
Stan's Guide also suggest taking a benzodiazepine to assuage anxiety (but again it rightfully states that this benzodiazepine is a luxury item. So at this point you're asking yourself "what the heck is a luxury item?" It means that the only item you need to do this job here is Sodium Nitrite. Period. Because it's straight poison to a human being. 2nd most important thing according to Stans Guide (which I read) is your antiemetic. This is the stuff that will allow your body to keep the poison down and not throw it back up quickly. There's a list of antiemetics in the guide and I chose the one that was most talked about and highly suggested (Metoclopramide). I couldn't find it in America but I found an online pharmacy in a country that sold it and shipped to me here in states. It's not a total luxury item in the sense that you don't need it 100% of the time. There have been cases where people died without taking the antiemetic. So yeah, it's not necessary but I'm sure as fuck going to take it as prescribed in Stan's Guide (which I read, by the way) because I'm drinking this shit because I'm parched; I'm taking it because I want to be permanently gone forever. I don't want to barf this stuff up because I want it to do what I intend it to do. So I get what's recommended to prevent that. And back to that beno? Yup, straight luxury item because I don't need it to die, but I sure want a bunch before I start drinking that stuff. I don't want any mental or emotional pain at this point either. So I buy what I need to prevent this.
The list of "other stuff" you can buy with your SN goes on and on. Each thing listed and suggested will make some aspect of the process more tolerable, depending on the substance taken. Yeah dude taking SN sucks. It's going to fucking suck all the way to the point at which I take it. Then you know what? It might start really sucking. I might possibly die the most painful way imaginable. I don't know. Nobody knows. Even if some person who died from it could come back from the dead and proclaim "whoa this shit didn't even bother me. Didn't even hurt for a second" don't mean it's going to be that way for you. Each of our bodies is different (remember the people who took SN and that's it and died anyway? Most people in that situation would throw it up and have countless times. But some people havent. Very small percentage I'm assuming. But I could be wrong about all this pain and stuff. Maybe it's the other way where I drink it lie down and that's just it. I go to sleep and never wake up again. It's a kind of a gamble, this whole thing we're doing. Do you hate life enough to go through what could possibly be the worst experience in terms of fear and physical pain. You won't know that answer until you actually are at that point. Guess what man? Everyone here typing stuff back and forth aren't at that point yet. We say we are. Every day we say it. "Next month is the right time." "I'm so done with everything, that's it for me." I do it too. All the time. Truth is if I was really ready I wouldn't be typing this up like I am right now. I'd be doing it. Right fucking now. When I get to that point I'll know it and I'll have the courage to do it. Sorry but there's no 100% perfect and infallible way. Otherwise that woud just be the way and we wouldn't even be discussing this stuff. This ain't going to be like turning off your playstation. You might be fortunate and the physical dying par will be totally easy. It's all the leading up to it that the fucking devil. Do I literally want to give up everything for this? The answer is yeah man. At least for some of us it is and we do it and then we're just gone without even a whimper. Try reading some of those goodbye posts. Person is typing "yeah feel groggy need to lay down." That will be their last post. Ever. They did it. They fucking did it.
I do recommend Stan's Guide. I'm not one of those "I'm better than you dickheads that you normally read online." I repeated it over and over again because of how important it is to me. If I do this, I do it every way it says to do it if I can get all the ingredients. I understand that in some countries, SN is not easy to get and may even be illegal. N is illegal where I live (and unfortunately for me N was my first choice). I skipped over it because the thought of having to go to jail and endure all that when all I wanted was to die would be a horrible experience in itself. So I picked the SN and I read the Stan's Guide because everything I need to know is in there. It's not someone telling you it's better because that person telling you might have gotten something a little wrong when they told you. Please for your sake, go straight to the source of most of this information. It's the most important thing you'll ever do in your life. Learn everything you can about it first so you can make the whole process EASIER. I want it to be easy. Nothing is perfect and each method we choose has its own good points and its own bad points. Here's my reassurance: if you do it right, meaning if you do it just like it says to do it, then yeah, you'll be dead. That's all you really can believe.
