AllFoxedOut
Arcanist
- Jun 7, 2023
- 474
On August 17th 22:42 AEST @lokabe82 drank a solution of water and Sodium Nitrite. Her last moments, though not peaceful, were tolerable compared to the alternative. She was nauseous. She said it hurt, and that she was vomiting. I can only assume she managed to drink a second glass... and keep it down.
Sadly I can confirm that she has passed.
It seems crass to refer to my dear friend by her username. However, out of respect for the traumas leading to her CTB, I will continue to refer to her as Lokabe throughout this post.
I originally met Lokabe on this site during a night of great distress for her. She was going to CTB impulsively in a way that was likely to fail, ending up with her in a psych ward... or worse. I offered to reach out, and she happily accepted my offer. I didn't expect to talk to her more than once, but what developed from there was a beautiful and unique friendship. One I am extremely grateful to have been blessed with.
She was a kind, caring and understanding soul. She was funny, intelligent and wise. I looked up to her like a big sister. We were of a similar age but in truth I felt like a child next to her. She had many stories to tell, experiences to draw from and she was always willing to tell me the blunt truth; even if it hurt in the moment.
There's nothing I can say about Lokabe that would do her justice. It's everything people say about those they love, and I really do love her. She truly was an incredible person. Trauma, mental illness and loneliness were not enough to bury that from me. Even if she would never believe it. I saw it.
Her final months on this Earth were ones of immense suffering. Anxiety, stress, paranoia and ultimately despair wrecked havoc on her daily life. However, one thing is for certain; without you, the SaSu community, she could not have found her peace. As devastated as I am by her passing, she would want me to thank each and everyone of you here (at least most of you. I'm sure some of you pissed her off or upset her). So... from her (and I)... thank you. Thank you for helping her find community. Thank you to the admin and mod team who manage this forum. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to befriend her. Thank you.
To SaSu, Lokabe was a faceless one of thousands seeking help and support. To the world, she was one of billions living through unheard despair. To me though... she was my best friend. So if I may make a personal appeal... please read her post history. Like all of us, she had a story. One I want to be heard and not forgotten.
I hope by reading her posts, you too can see how talented of a writer Lokabe was. She gave words to feelings I couldn't. Through the lense of her suffering, she gave room for me to understand my own. If you can relate to her struggles even a little bit, she may do the same for you. Even in death.
Rest easy and embrace the void, Lokabe. Your suffering is over now.
With all that being said, I leave you with her final words:
"it is... what it is".
Sadly I can confirm that she has passed.
It seems crass to refer to my dear friend by her username. However, out of respect for the traumas leading to her CTB, I will continue to refer to her as Lokabe throughout this post.
I originally met Lokabe on this site during a night of great distress for her. She was going to CTB impulsively in a way that was likely to fail, ending up with her in a psych ward... or worse. I offered to reach out, and she happily accepted my offer. I didn't expect to talk to her more than once, but what developed from there was a beautiful and unique friendship. One I am extremely grateful to have been blessed with.
She was a kind, caring and understanding soul. She was funny, intelligent and wise. I looked up to her like a big sister. We were of a similar age but in truth I felt like a child next to her. She had many stories to tell, experiences to draw from and she was always willing to tell me the blunt truth; even if it hurt in the moment.
There's nothing I can say about Lokabe that would do her justice. It's everything people say about those they love, and I really do love her. She truly was an incredible person. Trauma, mental illness and loneliness were not enough to bury that from me. Even if she would never believe it. I saw it.
Her final months on this Earth were ones of immense suffering. Anxiety, stress, paranoia and ultimately despair wrecked havoc on her daily life. However, one thing is for certain; without you, the SaSu community, she could not have found her peace. As devastated as I am by her passing, she would want me to thank each and everyone of you here (at least most of you. I'm sure some of you pissed her off or upset her). So... from her (and I)... thank you. Thank you for helping her find community. Thank you to the admin and mod team who manage this forum. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to befriend her. Thank you.
To SaSu, Lokabe was a faceless one of thousands seeking help and support. To the world, she was one of billions living through unheard despair. To me though... she was my best friend. So if I may make a personal appeal... please read her post history. Like all of us, she had a story. One I want to be heard and not forgotten.
I hope by reading her posts, you too can see how talented of a writer Lokabe was. She gave words to feelings I couldn't. Through the lense of her suffering, she gave room for me to understand my own. If you can relate to her struggles even a little bit, she may do the same for you. Even in death.
Rest easy and embrace the void, Lokabe. Your suffering is over now.
With all that being said, I leave you with her final words:
"it is... what it is".
