I used to think I was special, I used to think I could do amazing stuff nobody else could: I could draw people face just by looking in their eyes, I could see in people heart, I could do things most kids were scared of doing. I also felt deep pain in my soul sometimes and don ´t know why. I used to feel alone deep inside. The shadow of shame and guilt was always there as it is today. I betrayed many people in life but that boy in particular. I screwed up and it s too late now
Yes, the world was awesome as a kid. I didn't see darkness. Thinking about it I was such a happy kid. I'm surprised I ever suffered from mental illness.
I remember how awful it was to hear people yelling. I remember how fun and joy wasn't a difficult thing to feel.
I remember how awful it was to hear people yelling. I remember how fun and joy wasn't a difficult thing to feel.
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AprilsBlessings
Our tainted history is playing on repeat
- Jul 26, 2020
- 172
I did think of my self as a special kid, and others said it about me too, but unfortunately my childhood was a nightmare, i was treated like shit at home & in school..soo i don't have any happy memories about it..i'm actually in a way better situation now..
XYZ
I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
- Jul 22, 2020
- 800
For me the best part about being a kid was not feeling overwhelmed by how meaningless it all is and having no concept of failure. That and being healthy.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,758
I certainly had a lot more hope back then but I was also suffering a lot in ways that I still feel today. I always felt like a screwup even though my self loathing hadn't fully materialized yet. I think my depression started when my parents began divorce proceedings when I was 11 so in many ways being younger again wouldn't help my mental state out, it would just restrict a lot of the freedoms I've gained since turning into an adult.
SipSop
Arcanist
- May 7, 2020
- 483
I do not believe that what we have to do is to look back desiring to be children again. Usually women do that.
What I think we should do is to lose our innocense as fast as possible, to learn how this world really works, how people really are and adapt. That means that our parents should teach us how it is and be there for us when we fail in order to explain to us how things work and to go forward. To practice life in order to be good at it. For this we need emotional support at least.
Personally, I believe that if you have a good looking body and a decent, average mind you can live well in this world.
What I think we should do is to lose our innocense as fast as possible, to learn how this world really works, how people really are and adapt. That means that our parents should teach us how it is and be there for us when we fail in order to explain to us how things work and to go forward. To practice life in order to be good at it. For this we need emotional support at least.
Personally, I believe that if you have a good looking body and a decent, average mind you can live well in this world.
Anthagonos
Hablo español
- Aug 9, 2020
- 201
Something similar here.
I had lot of pptential when I was a kid. People said that when I would be an adult girls will like me a lot. Of course, it was true! But I auto sabbotaged myself in each possible way.
Deleted member 17949
Visionary
- May 9, 2020
- 2,238
I miss that innocent hope. I really thought I could be happy. It wasn't like I had to negotiate with myself to believe that I could push through problems, I just had an honest belief that I could make it through life and be a good person. Where tf did it go wrong lol
softfuzzyman
Rot
- Aug 17, 2020
- 77
Honestly I was terribly miserable and hopeless my entire childhood. I always hated being a kid, right up through my teenage years, I hated it, I thought, once I'm an adult everything will be okay and I won't be so miserable and outcast and suffering and helpless and I won't want to die so bad. Well. Same shit different age. Now sometimes I do wish I could be a kid again but only so I could actually not fuck up my life this time.
Sprite_Geist
NULL
- May 27, 2020
- 1,591
I wasn't much happier being a kid as I am now. Growing up I had a lingering feeling that I would turn out to be a failure in many ways, and here I am.
The only thing that was better about being a kid, compared to now, is that I could get away with being scared, vulnerable and not having connections. People will react with "Aww!". Once you reach adulthood you lose all innocence in the eyes of society, and they treat you as such. Now if I feel vulnerable or scared I'm considered a loser. This is 1 of the reasons I regret not ending my life when I was younger.
The only thing that was better about being a kid, compared to now, is that I could get away with being scared, vulnerable and not having connections. People will react with "Aww!". Once you reach adulthood you lose all innocence in the eyes of society, and they treat you as such. Now if I feel vulnerable or scared I'm considered a loser. This is 1 of the reasons I regret not ending my life when I was younger.
Are you in a way proud that you made it through your childhood?
I know exactly what you mean
I remember having that sort of positive attitude inside of me sometimes. Are you able to say what when or how things went totally wrong?
I loved the way you expressed and link your childhood state to the feeling of freedom and absence of failure
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AprilsBlessings
Our tainted history is playing on repeat
- Jul 26, 2020
- 172
