Discussion Remember: being miserable is not winning

[derpyderpins]

If you're on the recovery road, you know there is a lot of negativity out there. Negativity - for whatever reason - has a correlation with arrogance. I've been that guy: 'oh life is awful and if you're enjoying the little things you just don't see it.'

Here's the thing: being miserable is not winning. Being miserable is not a symptom of having figured out life. If someone has come to a conclusion about the world that negates the possibility of happiness, and they are determined to look no further, they've lost and given up. Do not let someone like that tell you how to go about life - assuming you want to recover . . . assuming you want to get to a point where life is worth it to you.

That person may be very smart in some other way, but when it comes to getting their shit together and living life, they have a loooooong way to go to say the least. That type of misery can become an addiction. (Speaking from experience.) Just like an alcoholic might be a mathematical genius, I still don't want to imitate him if I am trying to get sober. If they can admit that fault, and try to help you identify where they messed up, they can be great support. But if they are sitting there clearly stumbling over themselves telling you how in control they are, it might be best to steer clear.

And they may tell you they are happy. Just like the alcoholic insisting they don't have a problem. Look past it. See in their eyes. Misery doesn't lie.

It's okay to not be miserable.

 

[hoppybunny]

Thank you for this. I tend to fell silly counting my blessings and the little things in life bit this post made me feel better.

 

[Mebius]

A lot of blackpillers are at a point where they are so far behind of others that they would rather give up and NEETbux till they rope, not to mention the lookism aspect of blackpill that pretty much destroys any hope these people have for live goals such as having a family. I think these people are still right, they just choose the path that takes the least effort, and have pretty much accepted that they will rope way earlier at some point.

As for me, I will probably just cope with trying to learn some musical instrument, maybe buy some really cheap house in butt end of nowhere, live off savings, and maybe rope at some point when im already old anyway (60+ y/o).

 

[derpyderpins]

A lot of blackpillers are at a point where they are so far behind of others that they would rather give up and NEETbux till they rope, not to mention the lookism aspect of blackpill that pretty much destroys any hope these people have for live goals such as having a family. I think these people are still right, they just choose the path that takes the least effort, and have pretty much accepted that they will rope way earlier at some point.

As for me, I will probably just cope with trying to learn some musical instrument, maybe buy some really cheap house in butt end of nowhere, live off savings, and maybe rope at some point when im already old anyway (60+ y/o).

It's great to watch you find the nuance in their views. I've been drafting a post about their mindset and this gave me something I feel must be addressed now.

Picking and grinning with some cheap whisky on a country porch does not sound like a terrible way to live.

 

[Abandoned Character]

The pitfalls of ego. A miserable person who identifies with their misery will be resistant to positive influences purely because listening would require a change of self-identity. Some say the goal of life is to die before you die--to experience a complete destruction of what you consider to be you before your physical body runs out of battery.

You do not exist, it's one big hallucination. Realizing the illusion of self does very little on its own, but it is personally a critical step in my road to recovery. Born in the western world, I was never taught how to study my internal states. The eastern mystics have had it down for millenia, only now being validated by modern neuroscience and physics.

A mantra that comes to my mind frequently is "get over yourself." When I was first told to get over myself, it hurt at first because my ego felt belittled. But instead of listening to that anger and rejecting the person who said such a hurtful thing, I was mindful enough to realize they were totally right. To die before you die is to get over yourself.

 

[derpyderpins]

The pitfalls of ego. A miserable person who identifies with their misery will be resistant to positive influences purely because listening would require a change of self-identity.

Talent borrows and genius steals. This is a good way of putting it and I might use it at some point.

The rest of your post is interesting to me because I've had a bit of fascination with Buddhist-type views of the world recently. Any particular favorites to read about the eastern mysticism?

 

[Mirrory Me]

Hm, I don't know if a person has their own way of reaching some kind of happiness in their life, but it definitely depends on following their inner compass about what they should go towards. And also being mindful when things need to change perhaps.

 

[Abandoned Character]

Talent borrows and genius steals. This is a good way of putting it and I might use it at some point.

The rest of your post is interesting to me because I've had a bit of fascination with Buddhist-type views of the world recently. Any particular favorites to read about the eastern mysticism?

My introduction was Buddhism by Huston Smith, a world-renowned scholar of religion. Smith details the basic mythology of Buddhism and provides a course review of its many lineages, while also clearly defining fundamental principles like the 4 noble truths and the eight-fold path.

Another one of my favorites is The Science of Enlightenment by Shinzen Young, who practiced Zen in Japan for his PhD thesis. He currently runs an organization called Unified Mindfulness that has a very interesting methodology for improving one's mindfulness. His book is an attempt to unify the knowledge of buddhism with the advancements of western science.

A couple texts on my radar that I know would be very potent are The Upanishads as well as the Tibetan Book of the Dead. They are less of a book and more of a collection of poetry/lyrics if that makes sense. Huston Smith and Shinzen Young write in a structured form where their ideas build off one another, whereas these older texts you can pick any page and most likely recieve a wisdom bomb.

You can also check out @Pluto's posts for some wonderful descriptions of eastern ideas.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

@derpyderpins x @Abandoned Character is the SS crossover I didn't know I needed till now.