Discussion Religious Deconstruction

[GroundControl]

A massive part of my progression toward CTB has involved religion. I was raised in a Christian family that bordered on hyperreligious. For a long, long time the fear of hell was instilled in me. I struggled so much with my purely obsessional OCD that hyperfixated on guilt, good and bad, etc. I only recently realized that in my growing hatred for religion (due to personal circumstances), I accidentally deconstructed, and no longer fear going to hell. It's no longer me telling myself over and over "I don't believe, I don't believe" while subconsciously fearing it. Nope. I fully don't believe, and it's such a relieving feeling. I find peace in death now. I can't wait for it. If only I could get over the fomo, lol.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

Hell and heaven was created by people who fear death. I believe in neither, but if they do exist, I choose hell.

 

[Afterglow]

I was raised in the church every wednesday and sunday, Bible before bed, "God hates gays and everyone else who doesn't believe is burning in hell for all of eternity" kind of Evangelical Christianity, where fear was treated like faith and doubt in it was a failure on your part where you'd be ostracized. I spent my teenage years buried in guilt, spite, and anger for all the things that have happened to me and the things i felt, and it all culminated in me trying to sell my soul, because if any of it was real, something should've happened.

Nothing happened. That was where and when the last religious bone in my body snapped.

Death is definitely a much more comforting idea now that I know without a doubt that it's all fake and never existed to begin with.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

A massive part of my progression toward CTB has involved religion. I was raised in a Christian family that bordered on hyperreligious. For a long, long time the fear of hell was instilled in me. I struggled so much with my purely obsessional OCD that hyperfixated on guilt, good and bad, etc. I only recently realized that in my growing hatred for religion (due to personal circumstances), I accidentally deconstructed, and no longer fear going to hell. It's no longer me telling myself over and over "I don't believe, I don't believe" while subconsciously fearing it. Nope. I fully don't believe, and it's such a relieving feeling. I find peace in death now. I can't wait for it. If only I could get over the fomo, lol.

"me telling myself over and over "I don't believe, I don't believe" while subconsciously fearing it. Nope. I fully don't believe, and it's such a relieving feeling. I find peace in death now. I can't wait for it. If only I could get over the fomo, lol."


so you kept telling yourself over and over "i don't believe. i don't believe" and it worked? how many times consecutively did you repeat this in a sitting. and how many times per day did you repeat this process ?

 

[GroundControl]

so you kept telling yourself over and over "i don't believe. i don't believe" and it worked? how many times consecutively did you repeat this in a sitting. and how many times per day did you repeat this process ?

No. It didn't work. I would tell myself that "I don't believe" but I'd still feel fear of hell. I was pretty much lying to myself.

What finally made it click, honestly, I don't know. If I had to guess? I attribute it to the 10+ years of built up resentment toward religion of any sort, and me constantly fighting my indoctrination with critical thinking. I couldn't really tell you a step by step process on how to move past it. I think it's just a personal journey.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

No. It didn't work. I would tell myself that "I don't believe" but I'd still feel fear of hell. I was pretty much lying to myself.

What finally made it click, honestly, I don't know. If I had to guess? I attribute it to the 10+ years of built up resentment toward religion of any sort, and me constantly fighting my indoctrination with critical thinking. I couldn't really tell you a step by step process on how to move past it. I think it's just a personal jjourney.

how long did you repeat that for , how many days?

i think it was the repetition that programmed the subconsious mind . unless you didn't do it for that many consecutive days.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I am having so much trouble with fear of hell. I still listen to a lot of Catholic videos/podcasts for some reason. Mainly because the obscure ones don't have ads. I've brainwashed myself into religion before and now it's hard to shake. I just have to remind myself that the 6,000 year old earth and Noah's Ark are part of it. It's hard because I know I'm a bad person who's done bad things and doesn't have love in his heart. I don't will the good of others, at least not enough to act on it. I have vague well-wishing I guess. It's scary to take a bad self to the grave after a bad life with these ideas kicking around. On the .01% chance that there's some truth to judgment, heaven, and hell, there's no way I'd make the cut.

 

[dragon.//]

I am having so much trouble with fear of hell. I still listen to a lot of Catholic videos/podcasts for some reason. Mainly because the obscure ones don't have ads. I've brainwashed myself into religion before and now it's hard to shake. I just have to remind myself that the 6,000 year old earth and Noah's Ark are part of it. It's hard because I know I'm a bad person who's done bad things and doesn't have love in his heart. I don't will the good of others, at least not enough to act on it. I have vague well-wishing I guess. It's scary to take a bad self to the grave after a bad life with these ideas kicking around. On the .01% chance that there's some truth to judgment, heaven, and hell, there's no way I'd make the cut.

Religion- You follow order- You receive eternal life. Tell me that isn't the most human made concept you have ever heard

 

[Afterglow]

I am having so much trouble with fear of hell. I still listen to a lot of Catholic videos/podcasts for some reason. Mainly because the obscure ones don't have ads. I've brainwashed myself into religion before and now it's hard to shake. I just have to remind myself that the 6,000 year old earth and Noah's Ark are part of it. It's hard because I know I'm a bad person who's done bad things and doesn't have love in his heart. I don't will the good of others, at least not enough to act on it. I have vague well-wishing I guess. It's scary to take a bad self to the grave after a bad life with these ideas kicking around. On the .01% chance that there's some truth to judgment, heaven, and hell, there's no way I'd make the cut.

legitimately, and I know it's terrifying to do it, attempt to do anything regarding demons. Bargain, summon, sell, etc.

Absolutely nothing will happen and youll feel more silly than scared afterwards.

it's a gigantic step so im not saying stop everything and do it right now, you have to work up to it.

 

[Forveleth]

I gave up or avoided so many opportunities in my life for the sake of religion, mostly to not upset my parents. Then I got involved with an emotionally abusive asshole who throws Bible quotes at me when he is angry to guilt me into backing down in an argument.

Religion is about controlling people while they are alive and promising them something good after they die when they can no longer be used. Religious people always say that finding religion is so freeing, yet I have never felt so free until I gave up religion.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

legitimately, and I know it's terrifying to do it, attempt to do anything regarding demons. Bargain, summon, sell, etc.

Absolutely nothing will happen and youll feel more silly than scared afterwards.

it's a gigantic step so im not saying stop everything and do it right now, you have to work up to it.

I wasn't raised hardcore religious, it was just liberal happy church until I stopped as a teenager. But certain things are ingrained in me. I don't like to say OMG or JC. I remember blasphemies from 20 years ago. I would find this hard and it would raise schizo suspicions about what I was REALLY doing. Because if it dispelled my fear of God, didn't it "work?"