Venting Relationship struggles.

[holdont1llmay]

I don't think me and my partner have gone more than a day without fighting.
I'm unhappy, I try to hold onto our relationship, but I feel like he only likes me when I can offer him something, gifts and or something sexual. I don't know why he doesn't like me, he makes me feel so unwanted, the chronic jealousy on his end drives me fucking nuts. I wonder sometimes, if I'd finally get a moment of peace the day I commit I don't see him as a burden, but I know he sees me as one most of the time.

I just wish I could handle being mistreated like I used to, it ends in me considering my sui thoughts more. I used to seek out relationships like this, I used to be like this myself. now im just self destructive, and lost. I've attempted on my life over a hundred times now, if there's a god maybe this is like my divine punishment not being loved.
I told myself I would never even humor suicide over a relationship, I have much worse things going on but it's a bad one after the next and I really do love him so maybe I'm the problem. this is really stupid, im sorry.

 

[tsykoais]

this is really stupid, im sorry.

it's not don't be!!! relationship issues whether familial or romantic have historically been proven to cause a strain on one's mental health leading to depression and eventually suicide. i don't know what else to say but i feel this so hard. i hope things get better for you .