Venting Rejection sensitivity and worthless

[Hellokitty3333]

My rejection sensitivity is really bad sometimes, I normally just never ask for anything so people can't reject me. I used to never actually tell my parents the truth due to being so scared they would say no so I put it in the best way they can't say no to. Every time I ask a friend to hang out I'm terrified of them saying no and if they do say no then it basically ruins my whole day and I cry a lot. I don't know but it just feels like when they say no it's like I'm an idiot who can't even have a good thought for once. I know they don't mean it like that but it feels like I did something wrong. And it's not like brat behavior where I get mad at the person for saying no, I just blame myself and think something is wrong with me. I blame myself for everything because it's always my fault and even if it isn't I did nothing to help so I am still at fault. I feel like it's my responsibility that everyone is happy and taken care of. I know it's not but if I don't do it then someone could fall through the cracks and I'm alone again. I'm not good at taking care of myself. Maybe I am just a brat. Just a worthless bitch who can't do anything right and just cries all day for no goddamn reason. I complain so much but it feels like no one actually cares which they shouldn't, I am nothing to them. I really hope on here people won't mind my whiney ass on here. I feel like I need more of a good reason to want to end it but I don't. I just have a long list of random little things that makes me hate myself so much I want to die. I hate everything about myself. I do not deserve to be listened to or paid attention to.

 

[just_erika]

I feel a lot of what you said. I have dealt with this for years by just being alone. Now its really bad after making some friends.
Also just broke up with my gf. There were many things wrong in our relationship. But after she rejected me a few times things got so bad I basically could not talk to her anymore because I was fearing her every reply.

Hope you will accept this virtual hug

 

[stoopid]

Atleast we can be useless brats together, lmao. Jk, I totally get that, my self worth is completely trash also, but I literally heard that people reject me because they hate me but not calling me out directly, they say like they're busy but I heard them say that I'm too much work and called me not so nice names, thats why I generally tell people to fuck off (except here)

 

[Hellokitty3333]

Atleast we can be useless brats together, lmao. Jk, I totally get that, my self worth is completely trash also, but I literally heard that people reject me because they hate me but not calling me out directly, they say like they're busy but I heard them say that I'm too much work and called me not so nice names, thats why I generally tell people to fuck off (except here)

I am really sorry to hear about people being like that to you. That seems terrible and I understand what that is like, a lot of my friendships have ended because I become too much for them

 

[Hellokitty3333]

I feel a lot of what you said. I have dealt with this for years by just being alone. Now its really bad after making some friends.
Also just broke up with my gf. There were many things wrong in our relationship. But after she rejected me a few times things got so bad I basically could not talk to her anymore because I was fearing her every reply.

Hope you will accept this virtual hug

I am very sorry about your relationship ending and that you deal with similar struggles. It sucks because sometimes I want to ask but the rejection is too much of a risk. Also virtual hug back!

 

[Huntfish34]

I can relate to almost Every word you said, you are not alone in feeling that way. Sometimes I believe I just have some sort of fucked off mental block/ defect which can't be helped. It's Downright Maddening at times, I hate it.

Thoughts and prayers to you always, take care of yourself if possible. You are Worth it.