Venting regrets

[jmv]

Thinking of my boyfriend who CTB. I have many regrets, feeling like i never did enough or i should have done more. One thing I feel i'm sure of, is that he possibly became more suicidal due to the medication they gave him. Anti-depressants are known for making people more suicidal and I'm just thinking about how much worse he got after. He probably didn't know since it was his first experience with medication/therapy. I miss him so much I regret not recognizing that sooner. I should've seen signs or questioned that at least. I thought it was helping but really he was faking it cause he had his plan set. I wish i could CTB. I think about it daily. I miss him.

 

[makethepainstop]

Thinking of my boyfriend who CTB. I have many regrets, feeling like i never did enough or i should have done more. One thing I feel i'm sure of, is that he possibly became more suicidal due to the medication they gave him. Anti-depressants are known for making people more suicidal and I'm just thinking about how much worse he got after. He probably didn't know since it was his first experience with medication/therapy. I miss him so much I regret not recognizing that sooner. I should've seen signs or questioned that at least. I thought it was helping but really he was faking it cause he had his plan set. I wish i could CTB. I think about it daily. I miss him.

You do have my sympathy, for me I could just about live in hell as long as I had the right boyfriend with me. Like you I am alone, but through a different mechanism. I know you think of him frequently. You might member his smile,or eating with him, times holding hands.....and then your thoughts return to the present and the knowledge that he is gone. If all the people here, I KNOW how bad that hurts. Sometimes,as your doing now you just wish so damn badly, that you could have done something, anything to have saved him. The only thing I can find here the is positive,(at least for him), is that he no longer suffers unbearable pain. Long three minute hug to you at firm strength.

 

[SarRy]

The past is over. Missing someone is tough. Regret is one of the most deadly things. It becomes especially dangerous when it turns into self hatred. Don't let that happen. One death is enough, adding to it does nothing. I doubt that your dead boyfriend would want you to be suicidal. I think most people who have dealt with mental health things like this wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

With all that being said, I hope you find peace.

 

[BipolarExpress]

Thinking of my boyfriend who CTB. I have many regrets, feeling like i never did enough or i should have done more. One thing I feel i'm sure of, is that he possibly became more suicidal due to the medication they gave him. Anti-depressants are known for making people more suicidal and I'm just thinking about how much worse he got after. He probably didn't know since it was his first experience with medication/therapy. I miss him so much I regret not recognizing that sooner. I should've seen signs or questioned that at least. I thought it was helping but really he was faking it cause he had his plan set. I wish i could CTB. I think about it daily. I miss him.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It wasn't your fault. Suicide is a complex thing, and several factors probably led to his decision to go that way. When the burdens of life pile up, some of us crack and pull that final trigger. I don't know you or him, but I'm guessing that he loved you very much and didn't want to leave you behind.

 

[jodes2]

Thinking of my boyfriend who CTB. I have many regrets, feeling like i never did enough or i should have done more. One thing I feel i'm sure of, is that he possibly became more suicidal due to the medication they gave him. Anti-depressants are known for making people more suicidal and I'm just thinking about how much worse he got after. He probably didn't know since it was his first experience with medication/therapy. I miss him so much I regret not recognizing that sooner. I should've seen signs or questioned that at least. I thought it was helping but really he was faking it cause he had his plan set. I wish i could CTB. I think about it daily. I miss him.

I'm so sorry he CTB'd. Deaths like that are so tragic, it sounds like it was an impulsive decision. So sad. I hope you don't do the same but I understand if you do, I understand the pain of loss

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be painful and hard to deal with what you are going through, but at least all those who are gone from this world cannot suffer anymore and they are finally free from everything. But rest in peace.

 

[Sittichmutter]

Thinking of my boyfriend who CTB. I have many regrets, feeling like i never did enough or i should have done more. One thing I feel i'm sure of, is that he possibly became more suicidal due to the medication they gave him. Anti-depressants are known for making people more suicidal and I'm just thinking about how much worse he got after. He probably didn't know since it was his first experience with medication/therapy. I miss him so much I regret not recognizing that sooner. I should've seen signs or questioned that at least. I thought it was helping but really he was faking it cause he had his plan set. I wish i could CTB. I think about it daily. I miss him.

Dear jmv,
I am sorry for your lost. Please, do not blame yourself. You did what you could. You could not foresee the future. Some anti-depressants give the patient the energy push they need to act on suicide. That is why It is so critical to give this type of medication to teenagers.
I bet he thought you would be better
without him. This is a common symptom of depression. What a terrible disease. I hope you survive this, without guilt.
Love

 

[GasMonkey]

What method did he use?