Venting Recognizing That I am Beyond Hope

[jan28]

Today, my father used the phrase "beyond hope" to describe me. I haven't discussed anything about CTB with my parents, but I think this is a sign that they've given up on me, just as I have given up on myself. The fact that I am no longer worth spending time and energy on should be indicative of just how terrible I've become to exist around. It's time to be more active in my planning. Perhaps the only reason that I am alive is to prolong my suffering.

 

[Jadeith]

I think this is a sign that they've given up on me,

Or a sign that they've given up on themselves acknowledging the fact that they are unable to properly understand or support you.

 

[instormdrains]

why would you be beyond hope, what makes someone deserving of that title? Ive seen some people with absolutely nothing still be able to pull themselves out of a deep pit of despair. You only fall apart when you give up on yourself. I really do resonate with feeling like being alive only elongates your suffering. Ive been trying to make progress but I often fail. I don't think you are beyond hope now you have a positive opinion to counteract the bad one before

 

[fadedghost]

Today, my father used the phrase "beyond hope" to describe me. I haven't discussed anything about CTB with my parents, but I think this is a sign that they've given up on me, just as I have given up on myself. The fact that I am no longer worth spending time and energy on should be indicative of just how terrible I've become to exist around. It's time to be more active in my planning. Perhaps the only reason that I am alive is to prolong my suffering.

I don't think you should make your choice based on what he is saying. He may be in your corner and supporting you, or not; sometimes parents can be unhelpful and unsupportive and it's part of why a child ends up suicidal. He could have also said that in a moment of frustration and not really meant it.

Just because someone has to conserve resources (time and money) doesn't mean that another person is terrible. Sometimes being cautious with resources makes sense when the future is unsure.

Ultimately living or not living should be something you decide based on how you feel and the situation, not based on anything negative people say. Sometimes people feel awful and can get better. I hope you find a way to suffer less and/or become happier somehow. I'm sorry you are here and dealing with these emotions.