Reckless idiot vibes~★!

[N33dT0D13]

IIIII DON'T FUKKEN CAAAAARE ANYMOOOOORE~

I don't care if my friends are sad over me cuz they already are, they're all walking on fucking eggshells around me, some have even said so point blank but I'm not 'sposed to hate or blame or be hard on myself for it apparently so I won't!!! I don't care if all my attempts fail and I end up in immense pain and get brain damage I'll go hiking and "accidentally" fall off a cliff and get mauled by a mountain lion I don't fucking CARE

I WANNA DIE, I WANT TO DIIIIIEEEEE... But there's no reason for me to kill myself, I just need to be more adventurous... Either I'll find a will to live or die young with so much promise and fucking potential, goddamn ex told me about my fucking potential, he wants me to reach my potential, he wasn't even there for my birthday, my not best friend fucking asked my bday and forgot that shit, my godmom's eldest's bday is the day before mine and they literally fucking NEVER remember my bday and it's fine!!! I'm a filler friend, okay!!! So I'll be happy and fun and adventurous and mysteriously turn up days dead in a ditch and I'll die how I lived, like a fucking dumbass!!!

Fuck I hope I get murdered I hope I die I hope I die I HOPE I DIE GOD SATAN ANYONE PLEASE KILL ME I HATE BEING ALIVE I HATE EXISTING

 

[banger12]

I'm sorry you're in pain and that you're being treated shitty. I wish I could say something reassuring but tbh all I can do is validate the frustration you're expressing here because I've felt hurt and jaded too over similar things. I hope you can stop blaming yourself though, it seems like you're not being shown empathy by others and that may be fueling and exacerbating some of the "outbursts" (for lack of a better term) that have others "on eggshells". So please be kind to yourself.

 

[N33dT0D13]

I'm sorry you're in pain and that you're being treated shitty. I wish I could say something reassuring but tbh all I can do is validate the frustration you're expressing here because I've felt hurt and jaded too over similar things. I hope you can stop blaming yourself though, it seems like you're not being shown empathy by others and that may be fueling and exacerbating some of the "outbursts" (for lack of a better term) that have others "on eggshells". So please be kind to yourself.

These people are all I have... So I kind of don't mind potentially depressing them over me dying anymore LMAO I am absolute toxic trash and I deserve this

I wonder how easy it'd be to drink myself to death

 

[banger12]

These people are all I have... So I kind of don't mind potentially depressing them over me dying anymore LMAO I am absolute toxic trash and I deserve this

I wonder how easy it'd be to drink myself to death

I understand that you're in pain. You should be free to make whatever choice to resolve it that you feel you need.

However, in terms of alcohol poisoning as a CTB method, I'd highly advise against it. I know from experience that it's incredibly ineffective and rather painful and unpleasant. At the time I was like 17 and my dumbass teenage self gave himself "severe alcohol poisoning" according to the ER doc, I resisted medical intervention all night, they let me go, and I survived. So it won't work all that well.

I hope you can find peace.

 

[N33dT0D13]

I understand that you're in pain. You should be free to make whatever choice to resolve it that you feel you need.

However, in terms of alcohol poisoning as a CTB method, I'd highly advise against it. I know from experience that it's incredibly ineffective and rather painful and unpleasant. At the time I was like 17 and my dumbass teenage self gave himself "severe alcohol poisoning" according to the ER doc, I resisted medical intervention all night, they let me go, and I survived. So it won't work all that well.

I hope you can find peace.

I don't want peace, friend.
I want CHAOS. I wanna go out in a blaze of glory, I wanna go up in flames

 

[banger12]

I don't want peace, friend.
I want CHAOS. I wanna go out in a blaze of glory, I wanna go up in flames

That's your prerogative I suppose. Idk if that's how you really want it to end or if that's just the pain speaking. I know how it feels to want to lash out at the world. Either way, you're hurting and you don't want to be, and I'd like the hurt to stop, whether or not that means CTB. Ig that's what I meant by "peace". I'm sorry for the confusion.

 

[N33dT0D13]

That's your prerogative I suppose. Idk if that's how you really want it to end or if that's just the pain speaking. I know how it feels to want to lash out at the world. Either way, you're hurting and you don't want to be, and I'd like the hurt to stop, whether or not that means CTB. Ig that's what I meant by "peace". I'm sorry for the confusion.

You're nice. Whatever magic I have left I bless you with but my magic is iffy but I think it's been getting better... If it were that much better I wouldn't wanna die lol, happy happy happy happy HAPPY, BLESSINGS UPON YOU FRIEND~★!

 

[banger12]

You're nice. Whatever magic I have left I bless you with but my magic is iffy but I think it's been getting better... If it were that much better I wouldn't wanna die lol, happy happy happy happy HAPPY, BLESSINGS UPON YOU FRIEND~★!

Thank you. I appreciate the sentiment and hope to bestow the same kindfulness to you.

 

[MBiopic]

I can relate so much haha! I started getting these bursts of recklessness and impulsivity more and more often, I care less and less about what happens to me, so fuck it all, I'm gonna kill myself anyway, who cares lol??

 

[N33dT0D13]

Thank you. I appreciate the sentiment and hope to bestow the same kindfulness to you.

I mean it, your year is gonna get better and your life is gonna get better, I believe

 

[dramatizelist]

The bright side of "nothing matters" is that nothing matters.

Wanna jump in a volcano or smth.

 

[N33dT0D13]

The bright side of "nothing matters" is that nothing matters.

Wanna jump in a volcano or smth.

LITERALLY BEEN THINKING THE SAME THING FOR WEEKS NOW, how awesome would it be to blow all your money on a trip to the islands, have fun, get drunk and fall backwards blacked out into a fucking volcano!!!

 

[banger12]

I mean it, your year is gonna get better and your life is gonna get better, I believe

When I can start working again (hopefully early next month) and afford the gun maybe it will get better :D