Reasons to kill yourself and reasons to not kill yourself?

[skyfall]

Reasons for you to ctb and reasons for you to not ctb?

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd prefer to not exist no matter what happens, to have the ability to exist is beyond undesirable, suicide is all that feels rational to me as existing is nothing but suffering and I don't want to suffer in any way, instead I just wish to be at peace for all eternity and I don't want to feel anything at all.

It's the most terrible abomination to exist as a conscious being, there's no value in being conscious and aware, I'd only want death as existing is just pointless pain and torment, I'd never want to exist in this hellish world, I don't get why anyone would want to suffer for decades just to be tormented dying in agony from old age.

It's sadistic how painless reliable suicide is made inaccessible as I have no interest in suffering in this futile, cruel existence, I wish I was never burdened with the ability to exist, to exist is the most torturous burden, I despise how much harm existence causes.

 

[final_countdown12]

I'd prefer to not exist no matter what happens, to have the ability to exist is beyond undesirable, suicide is all that feels rational to me as existing is nothing but suffering and I don't want to suffer in any way, instead I just wish to be at peace for all eternity and I don't want to feel anything at all.

It's the most terrible abomination to exist as a conscious being, there's no value in being conscious and aware, I'd only want death as existing is just pointless pain and torment, I'd never want to exist in this hellish world, I don't get why anyone would want to suffer for decades just to be tormented dying in agony from old age.

It's sadistic how painless reliable suicide is made inaccessible as I have no interest in suffering in this futile, cruel existence, I wish I was never burdened with the ability to exist, to exist is the most torturous burden, I despise how much harm existence causes.

We all know that after 34k posts. But in this thread OP asks also reasons for why NOT to CTB

 

[Hvergelmir]

For:
- To stop personal pain and suffering.
- Drawing attention to issues, hopefully making a change for others.
- Retribution. Letting responsible parties know that their abuse resulted in fatality.

Against:
- It's not a satisfactory conclusion. There's some hope that I can find a better one.
- Living is more versatile. I can adapt and even CTB, as more information arrives.

 

[final_countdown12]

Reasons to Kill my self:
- menthal issues that is not curable and totattly affect my life "performance" (bipolar disorder, insomnia) and leads to compulsiv3 and high risk behavior (alcohool, sex adiction)

- failure in my first career of choise and failure in trying living a completely diferrent life style

- not able to find a meaningful life that can make me endure the daily suffer intrinsic to life (tried love, meditation, professional ascension, reclused life, living close to nature in paradisiac beaches, among many other "crazy/diferent" things - but no meaning was found at all)

- no one is dependent on me (no kids, no wife/girlfriend. Also my parents are healthy and finacially well and im luck to have an incredible responsible younger brother who can take care of my parents when they get too old)

- Pretty sure i already lived the best part of my life (was luck to live in so many diferents countries such as France and Canada for example, and also to travel all around the world) , so no much more to expect (i dont dream to have family, kids etc)

- financial debts

- more than 1 year unemployed and no good jobs opportunities perspective

- already tried lots of fancy therapists and psiquiatrics

- already have methods in hands (10 bottles of N) and all affaires ready. Just need to pour 200 ML of N in my glass and drink it.

Reasons to not kill my self:
- avoid family suferring

- can still find some pleasure in drinking, drugs and sex. But thats degusts me. And also im running out of money to sustain all those mundane pleasures.

- fucking SI and anxiety kicking in in the day of CTB

 

[iloverachel]

writing my reasons to die

writing my reasons to live

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

To kill myself: hundreds of reasons.

To not kill myself: the only reason I'm not killing myself today or this week is I don't have a method and plan ready that is at least 99.9% reliability to kill me.otherwise I don't see any objective reason to not kill myself if I had a 99.99% guaranteed method I would do it today. Life is meaningless suffering. They made assisted suicide , suicide booths , nembutal, guaranteed methods into crimes precisely to keep everyone in the prison.

Every day I don't kill myself I go through unnecessary suffering and risk even worse extreme torture for no reason other than I don't have a very reliable method and plan ready to exit this prison hell . Life and this world are prison hells not beautiful as they keep telling us

 

[rozeske]

Reasons to not kill myself: we're all gonna die someday.

Reasons to kill myself: we're all gonna die someday.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Reasons to kill myself: The rest of my life is likely going to upset me.

All I'm realistically going to do is to continue to pollute the earth.

Reasons for not killing myself: My suicide could upset a small handful of people.

If I screw it up, I could make matters worse for myself.

 

[UKscotty]

For:
Been suicidal over 25 years now
Being dead means can't suffer

Against:
There is still hope of recovery

 

[sserafim]

Reasons to Kill my self:


- not able to find a meaningful life that can make me endure the daily suffer intrinsic to life (no meaning was found at all)

- no one is dependent on me (no kids). Also my parents are healthy and finacially well and im luck to have an incredible responsible younger brother sister who can take care of my parents when they get too old)

- Pretty sure i already lived the best part of my life (was luck to travel all around the world), so no much more to expect (i dont dream to have family, kids etc)

Reasons for not killing myself:

If I screw it up, I could make matters worse for myself.

Same

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Reasons to kill myself:
- I don't like existing
- Living a long life doesn't appeal to me
- I'm destined to die anyways so I may as well get to be the one deciding when and how I die instead of allowing the universe to do that for me.

Reasons to live:
- My family and bf would be sad
- ????
- Yeah, that's all I got...

 

[sserafim]

Reasons to kill myself:
- I don't like existing
- Living a long life doesn't appeal to me
- I'm destined to die anyways so I may as well get to be the one deciding when and how I die instead of allowing the universe to do that for me.

Living a long life doesn't appeal to me either. Why does it appeal to most people though? They want to live as long as possible and I don't understand why. I guess they must be scared of death or something…

 

[final_countdown12]

Same

If reasons to Not Kill yourself is risk of getting in worse situation should try to look for methods that dont leave permanent damage in case fail.
Pentobarbital and SN have low % of permanent damage in case fail (found/rescued too soon).

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Living a long life doesn't appeal to me either. Why does it appeal to most people though? They want to live as long as possible and I don't understand why. I guess they must be scared of death or something…

This post I made from another thread I think helps to potentially answer your question.

Spoiler

While I don't want to die of old age, I do understand why that might appeal to someone. For one, living a long life is typically glorified by society, so a lot of people grow up with this idea that dying of old age is the ultimate privilege, even though it isn't. It's neutral. There is nothing inherently good or bad about dying of old age. Whether you view it as a positive or not is completely subjective, but when everyone around you glorifies and romanticizes something, opinions start being treated as facts.

Secondly, some people just enjoy life. They find that the good outweighs the bad for them, so living a long life and dying of old age sounds like a dream to them. I personally say good for them. I'm glad that they enjoy being alive and I hope that anyone who wants to die of old age has their dream come true. However, if I don't want to live a long life and would prefer to die on my terms, then I should be granted the same level of respect.

Thirdly, some people just really fear death. The human brain doesn't like things that aren't familiar to it. It fears the unknown. This fear is part of why our species has advanced so far, as it motivates us to become more familiar with our world so that we don't have to fear it. It causes us to create stories to explain the things we are unable to explain yet. It also causes us to fear things, like death, because it's this inevitable event that every one of us is destined to experience. We don't like unknowable things, and what death is like and what happens after it is one of them. To add insult to injury, we have evolved to survive and live. Our bodies have been engineered to try and keep on going, no matter what gets in our way. Sometimes it's our body's attempts at keeping us alive that end up killing us in the end. This is why we have an SI. We instinctually want to live, even if we consciously don't. That primitive part of us that we have no control over causes us to not want to die. This only works to further our fears of death when intertwined with our fear of the unknown. This is probably one of the largest factors that explains why people are so attracted to the idea of dying of old age. Dying of old age means you've gotten to postpone the inevitable for as long as you can.

 

[sserafim]

If reasons to Not Kill yourself is risk of getting in worse situation should try to look for methods that dont leave permanent damage in case fail.
Pentobarbital and SN have low % of permanent damage in case fail (found/rescued too soon).

I heard that SN could cause brain damage though due to hypoxia. In an ideal world I would go with euthanasia but sadly that's illegal. I just want someone else to kill me so I don't have to do it myself. Pentobarbital is very inaccessible so that method is very unlikely, unfortunately…

 

[final_countdown12]

I heard that SN could cause brain damage though due to hypoxia. In an ideal world I would go with euthanasia but sadly that's illegal. I just want someone else to kill me so I don't have to do it myself. Pentobarbital is very inaccessible so that method is very unlikely, unfortunately…

The % of brain damage is low. Outliers (<1%).always exists. Check all repórts available in the web and here and do the maths.

In the end You need to check if this <1% possibilty is worth vs enduring a whole life ahead of you untill old age.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Reasons to kill myself:
-I hate that asshole (me)
-He hates this asshole (him)
-I'm a 30 year old kissless dateless virgin incel
-Even if I'm not an incel, I'm still too powerless to get over the times I've been rejected. If I get rejected by my current love interest it would take me almost a decade to move on and I just don't have that time left
-Even if I do get with someone, no matter who they are I'm definitely going to ruin their life anyway just by being in it
-I'm wasting away so much time and money that dying would do the world a favor
-My anxiety and fear has been more present than ever lately and nothing seems to be able to completely get rid of it
-I'm genuinely just not a good person and if I'm left alive even if I somehow recover and be happy then I will proceed to contribute to making the world a worse place like by continuing to consume or by potentially procreating because I'm not going to not do that if I can even though I know it's evil.

Reasons not to kill myself:
-Mom would be sad (sorry mom, I already put off my suicide in 2022 for you, that's all you get)
-Sisters would be sad (one wouldn't even fully grasp the concept of death due to her severe autism and the other doesn't actually care about me much)
-Friends would be sad (I don't care about them enough and the sooner they realize that the sooner they can move on from me)
-Some games, movies, and shows I'm excited for might come out (but what if they suck lol)
-What if I really do find my soulmate and get to be with them free of any external drama or other issues? (This is the most unrealistic scenario yet)

 

[derpyderpins]

Reasons to kill myself:

• I'm tired, and I've been tired for so long.
• Work is endless, and with the way the world is trending I'll be working forever.
• My depression cycle: every time I think I'm doing better I get down even more.
• I've missed too many chances that won't come now.
• My idealized world in my head will never be real.
• I think the world might be better off as a whole.

Reasons not to:

• Love. Every minute spent not working and with someone who loves me is a minute I don't want to throw away, even if everything outside it hurts.
• There are some interesting things in life. Like on here, I like engaging with people. I want to know what Persona 6 will be like. I want to see how America is going to keep crumbling. I want to mess around with new ai as it becomes available. Some day Robert Smith is going to actually put out that fucking album. Quite frankly, if I'm not here who will tell other people when they're being stupid? Somebody's gotta do it.
• Related, but I want to keep thinking about things. There's something nice about having imagination. I'd rather use it.
• I do have passions. One day I'm actually going to finish that album, even if no one ever listens to it minus me forcing it on them.
• I'd cause too much pain to family/friends.
• I could never overcome survival instinct, and now that I'm a much calmer person I definitely won't.

 

[Hotsackage]

I'd like to do something, but nobody wants to deal with us(some), it just leaves you feeling helpless, to society and your illness

 

[idk3]

writing my reasons to die
View attachment 139660
writing my reasons to live

View attachment 139661

Pretty much this. Except I'm cursed with false hope that's making it difficult to leave. I know it's false, but I'm hanging onto it for some reason :/

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Reasons to kill myself:

- the earlier I die, the less my total cumulative amount of suffering I experience during my entire life overall. I hate suffering

- life was never meant for me to begin with

- there isn't anything that I ever enjoyed in life

- there isn't anything in life that can make me want to prefer existence over non existence

- non existence sounds blissful to me as it's just an eternity of non suffering. People fear being permanently non existence but I instead get calmed down by the thought of it

- non existence also means I will be in complete inertia and I have always wanted to be in complete inertia as I never really wanted to do anything

- I don't like to go through hardship or struggle at all (this probably is a repeat of me not wanting to suffer but I think it's different enough as people don't equate hardship and struggle to suffering)

- I don't see why I should continue living when there isn't a single thing in life that I enjoy and, also, everyday simply hurts for me

- I don't want to wage slave for decades just to suffer through old age and die painfully

- I want to avoid society completely

- I don't want to conform

- even if I try recovery, which won't even work on me anyway because my issues are more so inherent to life itself, the "juice ain't worth the squeeze" which is a quote I saw by @Alexei_Kirillov

Reasons to not kill myself:

- N/A

In truth, I'm only alive because of coercion via compulsion, not because I have a reason to not kill myself. Yes, I have said on this site that I am scared of the consequences of a failed suicide attempt but I can't really say that is a reason for me to not kill myself as having a reason, to me, implies that I want to not kill myself due to xyz (maybe this interpretation of it is wrong but it's the interpretation that I have for it). However, I'm merely alive because of compulsion, not because I don't want to kill myself

 

[AprilsOrangeSpring]

Reasons to kill myself:
I can't fucking do this shit anymore. Chronic pain.
Live in a shit country with shit laws that prevent me from getting help.

Reasons to not (more like reasons to delay it a bit):
Need to get enough money to buy a house for my family and leave some money for them after I'm gone.
I live in a shit country with shit laws that mean if I ever fail or get caught i could face a lifetime in prison.
If I succeed, my family faces the legal consequences.
Just need to make enough money to move out and get new citizenship for my family.

 

[final_countdown12]

Need to get enough money to buy a house for my family and leave some money for them after I'm gone.

Thats very noble from your part.

I live in a shit country with shit laws that mean if I ever fail or get caught i could face a lifetime in prison.
If I succeed, my family faces the legal consequences

You sure? Most of countries suicide is NOT ilegal.
You live in the east/asia?

 

[AprilsOrangeSpring]

You sure? Most of countries suicide is NOT ilegal.
You live in the east/asia?

East asia, middle east
Know lots of people in law, and I did a lot of research on it. Yeah I'm sure, and it fucking sucks. Unfortunately nothing I can do about it, except move.

 

[final_countdown12]

East asia, middle east
Know lots of people in law, and I did a lot of research on it. Yeah I'm sure, and it fucking sucks. Unfortunately nothing I can do about it, except move.

Shity, sorry for you.
Here in the west suicide is extremely stigmatized nonetheless and glad its NOT considered a crime
Hope you can find a solution soon i know CTB journey is not easy, ive beem in the path studyning and doing research more than a year. Its stresfull to die with some dignity. Good luck!

 

[ztoi]

only reason not to for me is family

not a single other reason

every reason to live is about / has to do about my family

thinking of the end puts me to tears when thinking about my nephew whos 2 years old as he loves me so much

 

[astr4]

reasons to kms: trauma and capitalism. same miserable meaningless routine day in day out.

reasons to live: potential… potential that i'll heal or that i'll find a way to cope with society or that ill manage to get over my self loathing. i keep thinking i have so much kindness to offer the world and then i feel bitter that the world has taken advantage of me.