I'm a trans guy and while things have been okay physically transitioning, socially transitioning has been absolute hell even to the point of physical abuse from my own family. I was also on the street for over a month(I finally got an apartment) but I'm just terrible at trying to be a cis/cishet guy even if I am more physically passing and I never fit in anywhere. Things used to be so much better pretransition and now I have no friends and family and just get pushed around and ridiculed and overly scrutinized all the time. I also have been bullied from the start from transitioning and hate crimed several times. Also weird things have happened for two years while one of the people who have bullied me have kept things up and there's no end in sight. He follows me around everywhere even across the country and is always in my business. More than one person has stolen things and money from me too even while being homeless like wtf? I was also sexually assaulted when I was on the street and I don't get someone keeping tabs on you and not caring about anything even through physical abuse, sexual assault, and homelessness. I'm just so tired of being alive and getting out of survival mode from being on the street just to get away from my family, I am sadder than I have ever been in my life. It just feels like everyone hates me no matter what I do to be nice and Im just something to throw tomatoes at and/or exploit. I really don't know why I'm still here. Someone in my family died that everyone loved and I don't get why he died and I didn't. He actually had so much to live for and everyone would've been so much happier. He should've lived and I should've died; my life is so pointless and I'm so tired. I haven't celebrated anything in four years either, so I'm just gonna celebrate Halloween at least(by myself), but I've really lost hope for my life.
I'm a trans guy and while things have been okay physically transitioning, socially transitioning has been absolute hell even to the point of physical abuse from my own family. I was also on the street for over a month(I finally got an apartment) but I'm just terrible at trying to be a cis/cishet guy even if I am more physically passing and I never fit in anywhere. Things used to be so much better pretransition and now I have no friends and family and just get pushed around and ridiculed and overly scrutinized all the time. I also have been bullied from the start from transitioning and hate crimed several times. Also weird things have happened for two years while one of the people who have bullied me have kept things up and there's no end in sight. He follows me around everywhere even across the country and is always in my business. More than one person has stolen things and money from me too even while being homeless like wtf? I was also sexually assaulted when I was on the street and I don't get someone keeping tabs on you and not caring about anything even through physical abuse, sexual assault, and homelessness. I'm just so tired of being alive and getting out of survival mode from being on the street just to get away from my family, I am sadder than I have ever been in my life. It just feels like everyone hates me no matter what I do to be nice and Im just something to throw tomatoes at and/or exploit. I really don't know why I'm still here. Someone in my family died that everyone loved and I don't get why he died and I didn't. He actually had so much to live for and everyone would've been so much happier. He should've lived and I should've died; my life is so pointless and I'm so tired. I haven't celebrated anything in four years either, so I'm just gonna celebrate Halloween at least(by myself), but I've really lost hope for my life.
