starting to realize I'm not the person that people look forward to seeing , not the person people ask for when I'm not there, etc..im there, people interact with me for a moment then it's over and im forgotten..and it hurts ..I'll be gone by the 1st of December, I wish I could've been someone's favorite person.
Sorry for this depressing shit y'all I'm just sad as fuck right now
Hi sweet
@deadalreadysqc
I'm sorry you're going through all this ❤
I understand how much you are suffering, I imagine you feel like things are unfair, you feel a deep emptiness inside you, a great loneliness...
I understand your sadness and I understand that you don't feel any hope in all this ❤
In your place I would have said the same thing and I would have wanted to end my life too ❤
I don't know your story but I guess by reading you that you are a shy person, I also imagine that you have difficulty trusting people?
It's understandable after all, when we go through things like you did, we sometimes think that we are destined to be alone..
If I'm wrong about you, I'm sorry, I don't want to make things up about you
In fact, maintaining social relationships is much more complicated than it seems...
I don't know how you behave with people but, to give you some ideas, you should know that every relationship systematically includes a part of selfish interest and a part of altruistic interest (worrying about the other). But this altruistic part varies according to the theme (a sincere friend will be worried about you because he loves you while a self-interested person will be worried about you because he is afraid of not getting what he wants).
It is also important to know that social relationships are essentially based on "objectives". When the objectives are checked, the relationship no longer exists.
At school, for example, very often groups of people have the objective of "spending the year together so as not to be alone" and then, once the year is over, the group is over too
In genuine friendships, the goal may be to "take care of each other and make sure we are okay". But since this goal is sustainable over time, obviously the relationship lasts longer if not for life sometimes!
To come back to you, if it turns out that you are shy, unconfident in yourself or others, distrustful, wanting to sacrifice yourself for others... this can be a trap and it can be a brake on your fulfilment in relationships
1) When you sacrifice yourself for people, you become a carer, and when a patient doesn't need to see their carer, well they don't contact.
2) When we distrust people, by our facial expressions, by our attitude, we send back rejection (unconsciously). This rejection is unconsciously perceived by the other person who will not return or insist.
3) When we are shy, we don't talk much about ourselves, it gives the impression that we have nothing to say, we become discreet in social groups. And even if people like us in some way, we are forgotten because our shyness tries to make us be forgotten...
4) If we don't like ourselves, we won't say positive things about ourselves and sometimes about things and not liking ourselves, unconsciously, makes others not like us either...
5) Another situation is that, if when people invite you, you decline (you probably have your reasons, maybe shyness, fear, or maybe you're busy), over time, even though this may not be the case, people may tend to think that you just don't want to come, that you don't like spending time with them. And so they don't invite anymore, they forget...
6) Finally, as a last example, depending on the expectations we have of things, people conform to that without realising it. For example, if people in the street think that a blonde woman performing a manoeuvre is going to fail (because they look at her, have expectations of failure about her, laugh...), she will end up failing because she will feel the pressure. With relationships it's the same, if you think the relationship is going to go nowhere, they may think so too and it may end up being the case...
I know it's hard, I know it hurts, and I know that when you put it like that, there are a lot of parameters to take into account...
Even though you've probably already thought about it, at least we're talking about it here ❤
Anyway, I didn't mention it, but a relationship involves at least two people. And in a relationship, it's never just one person who is at fault, but always both at some point.
It doesn't matter who begin first, the problems come from both of them because there is often a lack of understanding and communication about what is going on...
You will have understood that I don't blame you for anything, because you may be at fault as well as not at all ❤
I was just offering you some food for thought!
In the meantime, your suffering is legitimate, don't be harsh with yourself ❤
We understand you and we love you here, because even if the flow of messages here is incessant , we will think of you as someone important and who has the right to suffer ❤
Your life is not less valuable than anyone else's, know that
❤
Even if you're in terrible pain, I'm sure things can work out ❤
Think about everything we've said to each other here, think about yourself, each others, and the way your relationships have gone so far ❤
Love yourself and be proud of who you are ❤
Things will only get better ❤
I wish you the best
Love ❤
