ready to go..?

[LaLaL1234]

I'm always wondering that.. am I ready to go?
I had used chocking method in the past 2 times, but failed because of fright. Maybe my failure factor is those attempts were impulsive decision due to stress.
During 4 years, I had medical and mental treatment to get out of depression and anxiety for my family.
I really don't want to make them feel depression so I thought I can learn how to endure distressing by aid of medication and drugs, psychology consultation.

But now I'm so exhausted.. Everything is getting worse no matter how I try. Only fear of seeing my future meeting my end.
This time, I'm planning to use helium suicide method. I didn't buy yet, but those are already in my shopping basket.
Also, I really don't want to damage others especially kids because of my dead body. so I chose the basement of my apartment building.

Now... I feel llke... my brain is already dead and my body is loosing control. Just be encroached on questions like am I really ready to meet the end? What would happen if I failed?
I chose to suicide but also feel afraid of death. so lonely..
Do you guys feel afraid too before decided to suicide seriously not impulsive?

 

[vultureilse]

im afraid too. i dont want to be alive but the thought of whats after death scares me. like ive always imagined that theres nothing after death, just nothingness, but what if there ends up being some sort of afterlife thats even worse than life? and theres always the risk of failure, i cant even imagine ending up with permanent damage and having to live that way for the rest of my life

 

[don't want it]

Helium gas is mixed with oxygen these days

 

[Looking]

A lot of people feel fear. It's 100% normal. Most of the reasons why people want to end their lives as well is typically caused from stress, and there's an inherit emotional aspect to suicide because of it, even if it's not done on impulse. You're leaving everything behind to leap into the unknown. So, of course, it's a bit scary.

 

[wantittoendsoon]

I'm always wondering that.. am I ready to go?
I had used chocking method in the past 2 times, but failed because of fright. Maybe my failure factor is those attempts were impulsive decision due to stress.
During 4 years, I had medical and mental treatment to get out of depression and anxiety for my family.
I really don't want to make them feel depression so I thought I can learn how to endure distressing by aid of medication and drugs, psychology consultation.

But now I'm so exhausted.. Everything is getting worse no matter how I try. Only fear of seeing my future meeting my end.
This time, I'm planning to use helium suicide method. I didn't buy yet, but those are already in my shopping basket.
Also, I really don't want to damage others especially kids because of my dead body. so I chose the basement of my apartment building.

Now... I feel llke... my brain is already dead and my body is loosing control. Just be encroached on questions like am I really ready to meet the end? What would happen if I failed?
I chose to suicide but also feel afraid of death. so lonely..
Do you guys feel afraid too before decided to suicide seriously not impulsive?

jjust a couple things. as another poster said. make sure the helium is pure, balloon grade won't do it. there should be no danger to anyone unless you intend to fill an entire room with gas, otherwise the helium is basically harmless. I would suggest Nitrogen or Argon personally as these are normally pure gas with no oxygen at all. good luck.

 

[LaLaL1234]

jjust a couple things. as another poster said. make sure the helium is pure, balloon grade won't do it. there should be no danger to anyone unless you intend to fill an entire room with gas, otherwise the helium is basically harmless. I would suggest Nitrogen or Argon personally as these are normally pure gas with no oxygen at all. good luck.

I read that the US(?) prohibited selling pure helium so there's only 85% purity. In my country, government banned selling nitrogen to the general public. But the helium is still selling party ballon grade but 99.9% purity seller said (and also pretty expensive) There's a news, last year, a boy was dead covering his head by plastic bag because of inhaling helium too much. That helium was also sold for party balloon so I hope it works..

im afraid too. i dont want to be alive but the thought of whats after death scares me. like ive always imagined that theres nothing after death, just nothingness, but what if there ends up being some sort of afterlife thats even worse than life? and theres always the risk of failure, i cant even imagine ending up with permanent damage and having to live that way for the rest of my life

right... in former days, I also worried whether afterlife exists or not. But, just in my opinion, i believe that brain controls my body and makes to feel bad emotions by using hormone or some kinds of neurotransmitter. Then if i make my brain shut down then every world will be shut down too. So i just give up thinking about after world, the GODs(I don't believe them anyway), or other superstitious things.
About ending up with permanent damage.... For preparation of being vegetable, I will note that please choose organ donation for me and others. Other damages... I don't want to think about that

 

[FuneralCry]

After all actually going through with suicide can certainly be difficult as of course doing such a thing goes against our instinct to survive. I believe that in my case what I fear the most is ending up back in this world after attempting to die and for me personally I just have limited access of ways to exit which is what has always held me back from finally going through with it.

I very much don't fear death itself and there is simply no point to fearing such a thing as it's completely inescapable for us anyway and I just believe that we cease to exist and that is it for us, we are gone so in fact the thought of being free from all this is the only thing that could ever be close to a relief for me. I find it so comforting the thought of being completely unaware of this hellish world.

But anyway, I wish you the best of luck. I do understand that it can be so awful feeling trapped here when you feel so incredibly tired of everything so I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[GasMonkey]

In my country, government banned selling nitrogen to the general public

What's your country? Did they ban Argon too?

 

[Sunset Limited]

In my country it is possible to order helium at home. Pure helium no oxygen. You can buy deadly drugs from pharmacies without a prescription. There is no euthanasia, even for cancer patients, but you can buy the drugs. This is the only good thing about my country lol.