Everyone who wants to help is incompetent at it (no shame, so am I) and just makes me feel worse.
A friend and my mom just interrogate me with closed ended questions. "Did you take your meds today?" "Have you seen your therapist lately?" "Are you thinking about killing yourself?"
One of my friends just tries to convince me that whatever I feel or believe is wrong. They keep trying to tell me I should teach my parents how to help me, completely disregarding how they've broken my trust and hurt me over and over throughout my life.
One of them just doesn't care. I told her I was crying alone outside uncontrollably yesterday and she just responded ":(" after 4 hours. No effort to try to help. It's been like that for a while. I can tell she just doesn't care anymore.
There's one person in my life who used to just get it. I don't know how but he'd always make me feel better. And then he got tired of me and blocked me everywhere and banned me from his house where the rest of my friends live. And ever since then I've just had to deal with the misery myself.
I hate being alone and not talking to people at all. I always break and ask them to talk and then it just reminds me why I want to ctb in the first place.
A friend and my mom just interrogate me with closed ended questions. "Did you take your meds today?" "Have you seen your therapist lately?" "Are you thinking about killing yourself?"
One of my friends just tries to convince me that whatever I feel or believe is wrong. They keep trying to tell me I should teach my parents how to help me, completely disregarding how they've broken my trust and hurt me over and over throughout my life.
One of them just doesn't care. I told her I was crying alone outside uncontrollably yesterday and she just responded ":(" after 4 hours. No effort to try to help. It's been like that for a while. I can tell she just doesn't care anymore.
There's one person in my life who used to just get it. I don't know how but he'd always make me feel better. And then he got tired of me and blocked me everywhere and banned me from his house where the rest of my friends live. And ever since then I've just had to deal with the misery myself.
I hate being alone and not talking to people at all. I always break and ask them to talk and then it just reminds me why I want to ctb in the first place.
