Ready to CTB tonight

[QuittingTime]

Did a blood test on my SN and it looked good. I was waiting for some results to come back tonight, and now that they're here, it looks like it's my time to go. I ate a late lunch about 3 hours ago though, so I think I'll wait another 5 hours before I down my SN.

I took 1g of ginger 3 hours ago to help with an anti-nausea effect. According to some research I've done (and posted in the SN megathread) this should start to show nearly equivalent levels of anti-dopamine effects in about 5 hours.
I ordered a LOT of SN, so I have 2 x 25g doses in containers plus another 50g dose in a third container. I added 50 mL of water to both of the 25g containers, and was surprised at how strong the endothermic reaction is. That made me a little worried because I'm still waiting a while, so I haven't added any water to the 50g container yet.
I'll take my famotidine soon. And I think that should be it for me.

Truth be told I'm scared. But more than that, I'm tired and want to quit.

I know I'm a new member here still, but hello to everyone all the same. And soon, goodbye :)

 

[dontwantocareanymore]

Truth be told I'm scared. But more than that, I'm tired and want to quit.

I can relate so much to this feeling, as I think many of us can. Much love.
There's always a place for you here.

 

[QuittingTime]

Ahh, going over the solution guidelines it might only be good for a few hours. So I'll remake them in 4 hours or so.
Heads up for anyone else going through this!

 

[whywere]

Lots of love and peace to you. My wish to you is for a peaceful journey. All the love in this world to you great sanctioned suicide global family member

 

[Freedent]

I hope you get to leave in your own terms and that you find peace, i'm sending much love your way

 

[BPD Barbie]

Ahh, going over the solution guidelines it might only be good for a few hours. So I'll remake them in 4 hours or so.
Heads up for anyone else going through this!

I was going to mention this but glad you've already found out for yourself. It's not good to make it in advance.
Best of luck and I hope everything goes as you wish it to and that you find peace. Sending love

 

[Meditation guide]

Hello, sorry to see you go but I know you must.
I hope you keep us notified if you can about when you are ready to start and how it goes.
I and lots of us will be doing the same thing sooner or later.
I know you are eager to get on with it. Best wishes for an easy trip.

 

[QuittingTime]

Sat in my car for 3 hours reading SN reports. Especially that well-loved member that just CTB on the 10th. I had 3 doses of SN ready, my antacid, and another 200g as a backup. After 3 hours, I couldn't do it. There was still a bit of hope. Fucking hope.

 

[RedFoxSwims]

I wish you peace.

 

[SadGuyWannaDie]

Sat in my car for 3 hours reading SN reports. Especially that well-loved member that just CTB on the 10th. I had 3 doses of SN ready, my antacid, and another 200g as a backup. After 3 hours, I couldn't do it. There was still a bit of hope. Fucking hope.

Your not alone.. I sat in a hotel room a couple weeks ago and just stared at the SN. Plenty of motivation and plenty of reason to go and I couldn't fuckin do it. Go easy on yourself this is a really hard thing to get close to and feel like you failed at.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Please don't feel bad, it's just not your time yet.

 

[Donewiyhitall]

Wishing you relief and a peaceful journey. Thank you for the heads up on making it ahead of time.!

Sat in my car for 3 hours reading SN reports. Especially that well-loved member that just CTB on the 10th. I had 3 doses of SN ready, my antacid, and another 200g as a backup. After 3 hours, I couldn't do it. There was still a bit of hope. Fucking hope.

That just means it's not your time and your strong enough to wait until it is. We're with you.

 

[AJ95]

Sat in my car for 3 hours reading SN reports. Especially that well-loved member that just CTB on the 10th. I had 3 doses of SN ready, my antacid, and another 200g as a backup. After 3 hours, I couldn't do it. There was still a bit of hope. Fucking hope.

That's okay

You're not ready to go yet, and that's okay.

I hope things get better for you

 

[QuittingTime]

Thanks everyone. This really is a wonderful community.

 

[Silvermorning]

Cling to that little hope, while it lasts, and try to make the best if it.
Good luck.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

don't force yourself to go if it's not your time yet. there's no shame. we'll be here in the meantime to support you.