Method Ready to CTB but don't know how

[crybaby420]

I'm ready to CTB. I have nothing going for me. I barely make any money at my day job and spend almost all my free time at my second job where I make no money at all because I make commission and I don't get any sales. I have a boyfriend who loves me but I know his life would be so much better without me in it. I'm disabled and just existing, let alone doing manual labour for 40 hours a week, puts my body in so much pain that I practically can't function when I'm not at work. On top of barely making any money as is I'm terrible at saving so I'm never going to be self sufficient or able to move out of my parents' house. I don't have a social life because I work all the time and the only person I spend any time with is my boyfriend, who is always saying he wished he could go out and do things besides stay at home and hang out with me. I feel like a burden on everyone, including myself, and I'm fully ready. The only problem is the method. I want something quick, to get past SI as much as possible, and something guaranteed. I've been hospitalised twice for SH and CTB tendencies, so I'm on thin ice as far as that goes, so I don't want to deal with the repercussions of a failed attempt, not to mention all the methods that can leave you permanently disabled and unable to ever try again. I want something where I won't have time to stop myself, and where it's guaranteed to work. I have no money so anything that doesn't require money is helpful, but if it's something cheap that will do the job I can figure it out. Obviously I won't need the money afterward, so as long as I have the money now it's not like it's going to put me in a bad place.

Thank you.

 

[melodyhehe]

its ur decision in the end, i think the easiest is to find a tall building and just jump off its what i have in mind im just not sure if im ready. I had someone and i sort of lived for em. In ur case i think i would still re-consider cuz u have someone who im sure cares a lot and they would be worse without you. but i get existing is hard for me its my partner who gave me hope but i kinda got thrown away.

but yea if u are 100% sure and u think its not worth suffering for ur partner, i think jumping off like a 10 floor building is guaranteed and instant also kinda cool as u get to "fly" a lil hehe

anyway im sending virtual hugs i hope u can figure stuff out

 

[crybaby420]

its ur decision in the end, i think the easiest is to find a tall building and just jump off its what i have in mind im just not sure if im ready. I had someone and i sort of lived for em. In ur case i think i would still re-consider cuz u have someone who im sure cares a lot and they would be worse without you. but i get existing is hard for me its my partner who gave me hope but i kinda got thrown away.

but yea if u are 100% sure and u think its not worth suffering for ur partner, i think jumping off like a 10 floor building is guaranteed and instant also kinda cool as u get to "fly" a lil hehe

anyway im sending virtual hugs i hope u can figure stuff out

I didn't even think of that because there aren't a lot of tall buildings in my town, they're all 1-2 stories max, but now I'm wondering if there are any buildings in the city that are taller and have roof access or at least high window access. You're right about the "flying", I think that would be a cool last thing to experience. I'll definitely look into that as a method. Thank you, and thank you for being so kind. xx