gus.nixon
and now we rise and we are everywhere
- Apr 19, 2020
- 309
So I'm ready to make a purchase from a well-respected supplier of N. All I have to do is send the money. I'm writing this because I'm scared, people. I'm not worried about the price, I'm scared because I'm close to actually going through with the most important decision of my life. I can't find much info on N as far as amount of time it takes from ingestion to CTB and what the process feels like. I wish we had a super extensive N section like we do for SN. Now I already have my SN but that scares the shit out of me (I'm probably just being irrational about SN because I hear so many positive things about it). It still scares me though. N scares me too but they call it the "gold standard" as far as indigestibles go, so I'm feeling that this is the way. Once I wire the money, there's no turning back. No guarantees it will even pass through customs or be legit. So many unknowns. Ugh. Why does life have to be so hard for us? I know people who are actually happy and I fucking hate them. I don't actually hate them but I hate the fact that I don't have what they have. You all have helped me so much just because you understand what it's like. I'd feel better if you could respond to this with some good news about N and stuff. I want to die so badly but I'm so scared too.