Venting rant

[Hanzo]

Anyone ever feel like their feelings are fake? For me, I just don't even know what's going on anymore... I don't think I'm happy, except I get excited for lunch because of the junk food but I'm not like full on bawling unhappy either. I kind of just feel neutral about everything except for certain moments when I feel like anger, sadness, anxiety, and self hate hit me all at once. And then I doubt myself for the validation of these feelings? Like if they aren't constant, then am I just doing it to be sad or smthn? I feel unmotivated (or maybe I'm just lazy?) and bored, although i can open youtube and not realize hours have gone past. Also I feel things and then after, I can't even describe them. Like as I'm writing this, I don't even know if I'm portraying how I'm feeling accurately because I'm just so confused. I don't know anymore

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I usually feel like my "feelings" are fake. Could be imposter syndrome, could be dissociation, likely both. Are you having any notable experiences? Like... I'm usually lowkey dissociated every day. Floaty, disconnected feeling, surrealism, things legit feel fake. Visual things. Etc.

 

[Callie Arcale]

I feel like anger, sadness, anxiety, and self hate hit me all at once.

Sadly, this sentence sums up my life. I am crying as I type this. It's been such a long, cruel day and I just want sleep to come so I can "die" for a few hours, before the ordeal starts all over again.

 

[WornOutLife]

Since I stopped pretending so as to be loved/liked by everyone, I'm actually much better.
I'm never bored because there's so many things to do! I could play videogames 24/7 or learn 10 more languages or just watch anime and tv shows all day long!

The thing is, whenever I think about my future, I panick and get angry at the same time. My bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety turn my days into hell sometimes! I hate the system.

 

[Hanzo]

Sadly, this sentence sums up my life. I am crying as I type this. It's been such a long, cruel day and I just want sleep to come so I can "die" for a few hours, before the ordeal starts all over again.

I hope tomorrow is kinder to you. Stay comfy as long as you can!

Since I stopped pretending so as to be loved/liked by everyone, I'm actually much better.
I'm never bored because there's so many things to do! I could play videogames 24/7 or learn 10 more languages or just watch anime and tv shows all day long!

The thing is, whenever I think about my future, I panick and get angry at the same time. My bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety turn my days into hell sometimes! I hate the system.

It's hard for me to accept my loneliness but I'm glad it is working out for you!
I honestly relate immensely to the future thing. I'm kind of on the fine line between planning it out and feeling good and organized vs full on panic realizing it won't work out. Honestly, it just gets too overwhelming.
I hope that some days are kinder to you. We all need a break

I usually feel like my "feelings" are fake. Could be imposter syndrome, could be dissociation, likely both. Are you having any notable experiences? Like... I'm usually lowkey dissociated every day. Floaty, disconnected feeling, surrealism, things legit feel fake. Visual things. Etc.

To be honest, it's really hard recalling how I feel because I honestly don't know how to describe it and I don't remember. It feels like when I try to recall how I feel, all the thoughts about how I actually felt go poof and I'm just left super confused trying to think about it. I will try to write down my feelings sometime and maybe get back to you on that