random

[devil]

does anyone ever just sit and zone out while staring at people and think how the hell
do they live such normal happy lives while you're sitting there suffering in silence?

i'm sitting in a coffee shop rn, staring out the window at people that walk by and i just don't
understand how they can be so fucking in love with living. it doesn't make sense, and it's not fair.
i'm tired of faking a smile on my face every day but then if i don't 'seem happy' then that's when people
start to be suspicious and ask questions. i'm not even sure what my point is while writing this, i think i'm just randomly
ranting over stupid shit that's probably been reworded on here a bunch of times.

anyways, i also wanted to share my appreciation to everyone on here. you guys understand me, no one else in real life
does. i love each of you and i wish our suffering could go away and we could start actually living, but i know
shit like that won't happen. we got the short end of the stick and i hate knowing that people go through what i go through,
because feeling this way hurts like hell.

( if anyone needs someone to talk to, pm me. i'm alone and sad and need a friend )

 

[s1mplem3]

I want to cry when I see couples or families. I don't know why I can't be one of them. I don't mind to chat if you want.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

does anyone ever just sit and zone out while staring at people and think how the hell
do they live such normal happy lives while you're sitting there suffering in silence?

I used to. Then I realised the people with more than half a brain were actually freaking out inside and using delusion and addiction to hide the fact from themselves and everyone else, whilst the people with less than half a brain were actually happy because they didn't understand enough to be freaked out.

 

[the box is empty]

i just don't
understand how they can be so fucking in love with living

"He's so stupid, he doesn't realize how miserable he should be. I envy that."

In all fairness I don't think they're stupid. I do envy them though, that they have so much going on for them. It sucks being stuck inside your own head.

 

[Lejes Rimul]

do not be caught by the illusion, we really do not know anything about the people we look at, only our persecution, surely many of us here if we were outside we would see ourselves as "happy" people, although I understand what you mean

 

[Clut]

I don't think all is as it seems. Take my best friend for example. She had told me towards the end of last year she hadn't been feeling herself and thought she was experiencing depression. I tried to help her out and give some advice but didn't think too much of it, which in hindsight I wish I'd been more proactively . From the outside looking in, she's very attractive, married, a homeowner with a great job. And has since said she's feeling tons better from making various changes. A couple of weeks ago I got a message from her saying she wanted to thank me for being there (literally for existing I think) because the caroline flack suicide case had got her thinking. And she admitted to me that whilst she was feeling low she felt so bad that she often watched buses driving to determine if they were going fast enough for her to jump out so she would die. This is my best friend and I didn't know she was that bad. Similarly, I didn't tell her I was also feeling that bad, but it opened my eyes that so many people aren't how they appear on the surface. So I guess what I'm saying is those happy people you see might not actually be happy. I hope you are okay

 

[Sensei]

It feels like I'm watching a game I don't understand. I don't know what to do to get a normal life or even how to live a normal life. To be honest, I don't really want to live a normal life, but I'm tired of always being the odd man out and seen as a failure.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I often sit and wonder what I did differently that changed the trajectory of my life. I try to pinpoint where it all went wrong, and usually can't find the answer. I think of events that myself and others have gone through and try to determine why it went badly for me, but okay for them. It's all futile really.

 

[waterbottleman]

I don't think all is as it seems. Take my best friend for example. She had told me towards the end of last year she hadn't been feeling herself and thought she was experiencing depression. I tried to help her out and give some advice but didn't think too much of it, which in hindsight I wish I'd been more proactively . From the outside looking in, she's very attractive, married, a homeowner with a great job. And has since said she's feeling tons better from making various changes. A couple of weeks ago I got a message from her saying she wanted to thank me for being there (literally for existing I think) because the caroline flack suicide case had got her thinking. And she admitted to me that whilst she was feeling low she felt so bad that she often watched buses driving to determine if they were going fast enough for her to jump out so she would die. This is my best friend and I didn't know she was that bad. Similarly, I didn't tell her I was also feeling that bad, but it opened my eyes that so many people aren't how they appear on the surface. So I guess what I'm saying is those happy people you see might not actually be happy. I hope you are okay ❤

That's sad, did your friend tell you why she is depressed?

 

[Clut]

That's sad, did your friend tell you why she is depressed?

Yeah, it was quite a combination of things all built up. Which I fully understand. But yes it was very sad to hear.