Method Questions about jumping

[Cyber4ngel!]

hi guys, I know I haven't been here too long, and I dont wanna say farewell yet but life is shit rn and i dont think it will get better, people here are amazing tho

I still don't have any fixed method, but I was exploring the idea of jumping and I wanted to know how lethal it is, if there is a position I have to jump or a specific number of floors, and also if there is a way to make it less horrible for the person that finds me

As I mentioned in my introduction I have a very abusive family and a few months ago I was able to go live with my brother, the problem is I can't get a job and he doesn't earn much, and we can't keep up with the cost of rent and groceries, so it is almost certain unless I miraculously get a job or win the lottery or money somehow that I will have to go back to my father's house.

that would mean death, again eating leftovers from the garbage, not being allowed to use the shower or do laundry, my room being searched and my stuff being thrown away.
and most importantly my cat being taken away, my precious cat who is my only reason to live, so far my only suicide note I have written is for him and no one else, and I can't live without him being that he will surely end up in the street if I dont find someone.

I would also have to go back to live with my stepbrother who tried to SA me when I was 13 and locked me in the yard alone with him, and that until the last day I lived in that house he spied on me through the window of my room.

It's either kill me on my own or be killed through neglect.

I have to see who to leave my kitty with yet, and my method is not fixed but I wanted to know in case I jump, bc jumping is the most accessible for me, although I would have liked to look prettier in my last moment, I still don't have a definite date and I really don't know if the time is really going to come when I really kill myself because I don't have the balls, but I am totally trapped, to make it worse I am falling fast into addictions so if I stay alive I would end up being an addict anyway..

I dont really care about pain or if its peaceful as long as it is something effective and highly lethal, but probably I still won't have the balls to do it, I'm questioning everything yet.. I hope you dont judge me too much for being confused

Anyways here's a silly cat while I figure shit out

 

[StaticCryBabye]

If you don't care about pain or peacefulness that much, have you considered hanging or partial hanging at all?

 

[Cyber4ngel!]

If you don't care about pain or peacefulness that much, have you considered hanging or partial hanging at all?

I have! I just fear that I will fail on the preparations or bc of SI, tried it once but failed, I definitely didn't know what I was doing though, I'm still researching methods, I saw someone post a guide on hanging so I will check it out too
My idea on jumping was bc of the little time that SI has to fuck things up, once i jump I can't go back, I struggle a lot with SI even if I don't really care that much about pain

 

[Avoider]

Hello 4ngel. I am sorry for what you are going through.
Why do you think you cannot get a job? I haven't read your introduction but it looks like staying with your brother would be the best option.
As for jumping - I considered it myself- there is plenty of information available on the internet. A quick Google search will answer most of your questions. There even is very informative videos on YouTube. All I can say is that nothing is guaranteed. Some people die from very little height, others survive huge ones. Obviously, the higher the better but it highly depends on how you fall. Landing on Concrete is of course more lethal than sand or dirt.
I would not trust this method enough and SI might be hard to overcome.
Take care of your cat.