Discussion Question for people who have failed attempts

[cyanlove]

If you were found by someone after your attempt, did it change your life in any way? Did people around you act differently?

 

[Al Cappella]

Not long term, no. In the short aftermath ppl were pissed at me, got all the usual cliches, it no one has ever treated it for what it is—the symptom of long-standing disease…

 

[riamulbs]

at first people stepped around me like egg shells, my family were ignorant on the other hand and acted as if nothing happened. people were aware of the situation, but only reacted to me in a way they thought wouldnt make me do it again instead of actually helping me

 

[Looooser]

I live alone and no one really checks on me. I usually go weeks to maybe a month not seeing or talking to anyone. So no one has ever found me after an attempt. Most of my attempts have been overdose or poisons and I usually wake up after a couple days, all bruised up, puke all over the place.

 

[Kristicide]

I live alone and no one really checks on me. I usually go weeks to maybe a month not seeing or talking to anyone. So no one has ever found me after an attempt. Most of my attempts have been overdose or poisons and I usually wake up after a couple days, all bruised up, puke all over the place.

Same

 

[ixkitty]

So my effort was side tracked twice. The most notable one is my SN Attempt. I was in a coma for a good day. I lied and told them I accidentally took the wrong thing. I blamed it on my study stress. I was in nursing so I logic chemical talk to them and they believed me.

My family don't treat me any different neither does my friends. The only thing my last attempt showed me is that I can't fail again.

 

[medicinenightmares]

I was never found after attempts because I would usually get scared at the last second and call an ambulance before I got too severely injured/sick. It did significantly impact all of my relationships.

My mother doesn't trust me anymore. She has distances herself from me and has lost compassion from my repeated attempts. My twin brother has also distanced himself and we barely speak. I know he loves me and he cares, but he's just protecting himself from me & my mess. I can understand, but it still hurts.

The urgency of the first couple attempts soon faded as I became a frequent flyer in the ER. People will say that they are there for you and want to support you, and they will the first time, but everyone has their limits that I keep inadvertently crossing.

Every romantic relationship I have had has ended because of my mental illnesses and what hurts is that they didn't even see the worst of it.

I have lost my closest friends due to my frequent hospitalizations. These are friends that I've had since middle school.

It seems the more you hurt yourself, the more you hurt other around you. The people who care about you don't want to see you hurting. They want to help and it kills them when they can't or don't know how. They will be angry that you have tried to leave them. They will feel betrayed. Every cut you make or pill you take will push them further and further until you're all alone and have no one to blame but yourself.

(Sorry this got darker than it needed to. I'm being trying to be honest.)

 

[OrcWitch]

I wasn't found or anything, I did it away from people.

 

[Sanva]

for a while, people tried to be nicer to me but that didn't last long

 

[Seiba]

My packages are watched, wasn't originally allowed to stay at home but I'm getting more freedom in that department. Otherwise I was given the choice of therapy, mental hospital, or going on pills. I picked therapy so I'll see how that goes. I'm not interested in being here but my cowardice got me put in this situation. It was more unwillingness to commit to a method which resulted in me being found out more so than a full blown hospitalized attempt.

 

[Oblivion Access]

I was never found after attempts because I would usually get scared at the last second and call an ambulance before I got too severely injured/sick. It did significantly impact all of my relationships.

My mother doesn't trust me anymore. She has distances herself from me and has lost compassion from my repeated attempts. My twin brother has also distanced himself and we barely speak. I know he loves me and he cares, but he's just protecting himself from me & my mess. I can understand, but it still hurts.

The urgency of the first couple attempts soon faded as I became a frequent flyer in the ER. People will say that they are there for you and want to support you, and they will the first time, but everyone has their limits that I keep inadvertently crossing.

Every romantic relationship I have had has ended because of my mental illnesses and what hurts is that they didn't even see the worst of it.

I have lost my closest friends due to my frequent hospitalizations. These are friends that I've had since middle school.

It seems the more you hurt yourself, the more you hurt other around you. The people who care about you don't want to see you hurting. They want to help and it kills them when they can't or don't know how. They will be angry that you have tried to leave them. They will feel betrayed. Every cut you make or pill you take will push them further and further until you're all alone and have no one to blame but yourself.

(Sorry this got darker than it needed to. I'm being trying to be honest.)

Just wanted to say I relate big time. Every bit as dark as it needs to be.

 

[completely-done]

So my effort was side tracked twice. The most notable one is my SN Attempt. I was in a coma for a good day. I lied and told them I accidentally took the wrong thing. I blamed it on my study stress. I was in nursing so I logic chemical talk to them and they believed me.

My family don't treat me any different neither does my friends. The only thing my last attempt showed me is that I can't fail again.

Ahh that's my biggest fear. I'm sorry you went through that :(
I hope I don't sound insensitive when I ask, how is it that your attempt failed? You don't have to answer if you're not comfortable, I totally respect whatever you feel

 

[ixkitty]

Ahh that's my biggest fear. I'm sorry you went through that :(
I hope I don't sound insensitive when I ask, how is it that your attempt failed? You don't have to answer if you're not comfortable, I totally respect whatever you feel

It's perfectly fine! It was bad timing. I had took the drug while drinking and on the phone with my brother. He didn't call anyone but the guy I was staying with just came home unexpectedly. Technically, all things considered, I succeeded. But when he came home he called the ambulance. They managed to figure out what happened and reversed the process of SN. :)

 

[completely-done]

It's perfectly fine! It was bad timing. I had took the drug while drinking and on the phone with my brother. He didn't call anyone but the guy I was staying with just came home unexpectedly. Technically, all things considered, I succeeded. But when he came home he called the ambulance. They managed to figure out what happened and reversed the process of SN. :)

Ah okay makes sense. I'm sorry you were in so much pain that drove you to that point. I'm at level 10 of suicidality too. Glad to meet you though!

 

[pphelpme]

All my Family except
My brother act like nothing happened. It's pretty messed up that they think if they pretend it didn't happen I'll never do it again. I have failed two times. Both times I told someone after I blacked out on the way to unconsciousness. I needed a ventilator one time so that was the closest. The last time I didn't drink enough alcohol to work with the pills. I'm furious I fucking failed. I am furious at that stupid part of my brain that must still think living despite going blind is worth it. I'm going blind and I don't wanna live because I can't deal with it.

 

[ixkitty]

Ah okay makes sense. I'm sorry you were in so much pain that drove you to that point. I'm at level 10 of suicidality too. Glad to meet you though!

The pleasure is all mine :)

All my Family except
My brother act like nothing happened. It's pretty messed up that they think if they pretend it didn't happen I'll never do it again. I have failed two times. Both times I told someone after I blacked out on the way to unconsciousness. I needed a ventilator one time so that was the closest. The last time I didn't drink enough alcohol to work with the pills. I'm furious I fucking failed. I am furious at that stupid part of my brain that must still think living despite going blind is worth it. I'm going blind and I don't wanna live because I can't deal with it.

I feel that pain. I'm sorry you feel that pain too

 

[pphelpme]

The pleasure is all mine :)

I feel that pain. I'm sorry you feel that pain too

Thanks. I am so pissed at myself. I think about how I failed everyday. Now I'm planning SN. My family is so clueless they think I'm fine. Ha! I can't believe no one has ever asked why I did it.

 

[fox_wannabe]

They did not know. I keep everything really low key. Maybe I isolated myself for weeks before and a bit after.

 

[ixkitty]

Thanks. I am so pissed at myself. I think about how I failed everyday. Now I'm planning SN. My family is so clueless they think I'm fine. Ha! I can't believe no one has ever asked why I did it.

I feel you, my family is fully aware I plan to try again and I truly think they forgot. Like a distant memory in the past. I hope your next attempt goes exactly how you want it. ♡ I'm very meticulous in my planning now. I want every detail planned out including the time!

 

[fox_wannabe]

I'm going blind and I don't wanna live because I can't deal with it.

You are going blind? I am really sorry to hear that.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I was stopped by a stranger. No one in my family knew until I told my psychiatrist and then my family.

My psychiatrist was the best. When he saw me he apologized for not recognizing how much pain I was in.

My family hasn't changed at all since then. They are useless.

 

[8livesleft]

I was already going through a divorce and kids were taken away from me as a result of my failed attempt by my wife and her lawyer. To be clear courts dont do this in all cases since attempters at hospital can talk to kids and see them right after they leave. It's just because I happen to be in a divorce and my wife's lawyer wants to use it as leverage for $. What a great system huh? I haven't seen them or been allowed to contact them since (been over 4 months now). My friends and family walk on eggshells around me. I have been hospitalized twice after my attempt by overprotective well-meaning friends because I "had a sad face" and the therapists wanted me out of the program because I was higher risk relative to other suicidals. Only thing I've learned is don't talk to anyone and just "smile and wave" as the penguins say in the movie Madagascar.

 

[myopybyproxy]

uhh yeah. forced 'treatment' including medication and being locked up and losing my freedoms for a few months. then being treated like an infant by my family for months after.

 

[enstarve]

When i was 14, i tried hanging myself for the first (and last) time. To spare the details my SI is and always was up and kicking lol. On my way home i was so upset by the fact i failed that i didnt even bother to take off the snapped noose off of my neck and did the walk of shame back home at around 2-3 in the morning.
This was in the summer, and i lived in a small bustling town, so im absolutely sure people who knew me or my nuclear family saw me. "Rumors" spread like wildfire, so i was so to say exiled from any interaction with the kids in my school. But i didnt care. They already treated me as if i was a freakshow.
The behavior of the adults around me remained the same, but i knew when they were talking about me.
But my mothers reaction broke me the most. I came in as she was waiting for me in the hallway, and we stared at eachother for what felt like forever. Then, she just told me to go to bed. My own mother, in fact did not care that i tried to ctb. She stayed as cold and cruel as she always was.
She refused to get me help until several lousy attempts later, which took about three years.

 

[underscore_nine]

If you were found by someone after your attempt, did it change your life in any way? Did people around you act differently?

my family made me go to therapy and basically never brought it up again

 

[kittyswift]

im no longer trusted with Anything remotely dangerous. for the longest time i was not able to handle my own medication- but now i realise it was unlikely to have killed me anyway. my family just treat me like im fragile, and i suppose in some ways i am. the worst part was my sister using it against me, and in silly arguments she always tells me to just go try again and mocks the fact i tried to do it anyway.

 

[Unattainable666]

I live alone and no one really checks on me. I usually go weeks to maybe a month not seeing or talking to anyone. So no one has ever found me after an attempt. Most of my attempts have been overdose or poisons and I usually wake up after a couple days, all bruised up, puke all over the place.

Been there done that - obviously total failure